Hall Of Fame 11


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EMC2 on The Welsh Incident

Just a great story.        I felt like I was with you guys.      The tour each of you gave was perfect.
The best part of the total package was/is the highlight reel.      Each of you ‘unknowingly’ (?) gave a completely different tour, so to speak.
Yes, please’…..for the X !!       HA !!!       I’m positive I would have said, ‘screw you’
Sir Ian Botham ?       Ian, could you hold this for me…..!.

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EMC2 12 September
@metro18 @EMC2

OXYMORON STATEMENT – by me of course…

Metro 12 September

@EMC2 @metro18 Just for you then

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metro18 12 September

Bring it on!!!!

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hedgehopper   

 

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radar60

Anyways……my trip to NC hit a snag. One of my wife’s girlfriends from Canada is turning 50 and she wanted to celebrate it with a bunch of GF’s for a wild week in Memphis Tennessee, of course around the same week.
In true Radar fashion I weaseled my way out of this one but it comes at a huge price……
First the week in Memphis got replaced by a girl weekend in Vegas at some other time.
Believe you me…I don’t want to be there.
On top of that I had to agree to a sacrifice of monumental proportions….
On October 10th ,the day before we fly out to Charlotte I have to sit through a concert of my wife’s choosing
So I’m now the proud owner of tickets to go see ENRIQUE IGLESIAS and PITBULL at the Staples Centre in LA ( gag)
But I booked the flights to NC..there is no way back now.
Love is a many splendored thing.

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WAMO

I actually played a round of golf yesterday.  I think this was the first time in two years?  Wow…..
I did it right by practicing the short game on Friday evening and then hitting the driving range and putting about 3 hours before teeing off yesterday. Had about 2 hours down time after the practice session.

Anyway….the putter is always there.  Lags were good.  Everything inside about 4 feet is automatic.Damage-4-12-14-golf-cart-boulder-creek-2-injured
Could not believe the way I was hitting driver.  Pulled a few a bit to start but nothing serious.  Always playable.  But on the back 9 I was either straight down the middle or with a slight fade.  On 18 I had 85 yards to the hole on a par 4 after my tee shot.

Pitching and chipping was a bit of a problem.  Have to get the confidence around the greens again. Oh…and played through a short term wind storm that made me throw away the score card mid way through the front nine.
All in all it was fun and I have high hopes for the next round which will likely be today or tomorrow.

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tugoo

Two professional golfers while walking from a green to the next tee are chatting somewhat but one is cursing beyond belief. Berating himself to the lowest form of humanity, speaking of his family heritage in the most profane way imaginable. You low life MFker, you are the worst playing sob ever to be on this earth and so forth. While walking on the path through the trees they pass two older ladies sitting on a bench. Upon arriving at the next tee they are met by a PGA official who informs the filthy mouth player he is in defiance of the rules of etiquette of the PGA tour and he has tremendously offended the two women he passed on the way to the tee. For those words of filth he is fined $100.00 but pays the official $200.00 in cash at the tee and immediately turns and begins to walk back to the two ladies who were sitting on the bench. Upon arriving, he begins to apologize for his foul language and assures them such is not his normal vocabulary and then offers his most sincere regrets by saying ” he didn’t realize who they were as when he passed he thought they were two fucking stumps”.
The tour player… Tommy Bolt….the official…. Clyde Mangrum. Story told to me by Clyde. Bolt was a treasure before his time,

metro18

@tafnut @metro18 @tugoo Bolt was the best club thrower ever.
Once famously said to his caddy – “what club do I need for this?”
The caddy replied “4 iron Mr Bolt”.
“What??? Are you crazy???”
“No, not crazy, but it’s the only one we have left sir”.

Tommy_Bolt

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metro18 

GGS put this on the Rock and Roll page.. why I have no idea 🙂 So i shall put it where I think it was meant to be

I got home from the course earlier and started cutting grass until a band of nasty thunders storms decided to pass through. This has given me a chance to sit and spout off about the people that are playing golf. Case in point, I am totally convinced that most of the younger generation (20 to 35) of today suffer from ADHD. The medicare group only had one foursome out today so we decided to play a leftie rightie point game with low ball and low score getting a point for each hole won. We had two walkers and two in a cart. There was a foursome of twenty somethings behind us. The course was pretty packed and we pretty well had to wait to make each shot. We finished the front nine in one hour and forty-seven minutes and the plugs behind us wanted their money back because it was going too slow. The pro shop gave them a rain check which is certainly a lot more than they would have gotten from me. This sums up the mentality of many playing the game today…….no attention span and if it doesn’t have a keypad or joy stick and provide instant gratification they are not interested,

There is also a very good reason why people are playing less golf. It revolves around disposable income. The average family of four spends approximately $300 per month on cell phone bills. Add to that anywhere from $125 to $250 per month for Cable/satellite television and it becomes exceedingly clear that golf will take a back seat to those two endeavors in the majority of cases. Unfortunately the electricity is of at the moment and I will be unable to post this until it comes back on.

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EMC2

@metro18

Jesus Christ GGS……..you are soooo right !!!!         I have had a few long and ‘spiritual’ discussions with family members about just that……cell phones and IPods.      Not to mention T.V. We were brought up to touch and feel reality.  We were brought up to smell the roses or, eat crow.

Today’s generation(s) want instant gratification, in all respects.       Here’s one they can pigeon hole in their phone.      KISS MY SWEET PINK ASS

@EMC2 @metro18 I do. I mean imagine anyone sitting in front of a computer for hours every day talking to people they don’t even know. How stupid is that???

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photo-1-275x316scrums

http://vaughtsviews.com/guest-post-rory-mcilroy-gave-young-fan-a-lasting-memory-at-louisvile-thorntons/Edi

Hedgehopper

@scrums Great story.  Thanks for sharing, Scrums.  As usual, people can’t leave Tiger out of the mix and let the story stand on its own.  A man who was a mentor to me often said, “Blowing out another man’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.”

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GoChevyGo

I was sitting here thinking about this and thought I’d write a nice long post. Not as long as 8ed’s PGA story but this is just something y’all might want to chime in on or not. Here goes… In all sports throughout the years there have been many great champions. On the other side of that coin though, there have been those with great promise who failed miserably under the pressure of winning. I could sit here and site many of both but that would take a lot of typing that I just don’t feel like doing right now. Besides that, it’s not the point of this post to point out those who have succeeded and those who haven’t. I think some people are simply born for the moment, and excel when the pressure is at it’s greatest. Then there are those who are better than everyone else during the regular season or preliminary rounds but wilt in the last round or during the championship match. It’s not always the most skilled player who wins. No I think it’s the player who thrives on the pressure, welcomes it even, because it’s those moments that make it all worthwhile. I have played a number of different sports in my life. Team sports like baseball, basketball, and even bowling. I’ve been on golf leagues that were comprised of two man teams. I have never really competed solo in any sport where I was playing in a championship, except when I was a member of the Moose Lodge and we had flighted tournaments. Of the 3 times I played in the state and national events, I finished 2nd net twice and first once in my flight, the B flight. In baseball I’ve won 2 city league championships and have won a few league championships in bowling. Never won anything in basketball but didn’t play much organized basketball. For me personally, I always played better when the pressure was on. Sure there were times'Honey, you still look like a 10 to me...' I didn’t succeed when I needed to but more often than not, I was able to execute when the pressure was on. I loved those moments. I can appreciate the ability of a professional golfer, especially those that perform best under pressure (Sorry Greg Norman you don’t make that list). But I always found it was most rewarding to help my team win. The celebration afterwards with my teammates are the times I’ll remember the most. Especially the teams I had lost with one year then when reaching the championship the following year, remembering the bitter taste of defeat, an willing my teammates to do better and seeing them succeed was the best. I used to love bowling. It was fun and I was pretty good at it. I bowled on a big money league with 4 other bowlers who were pretty darn good too. My closest friend on the team, Mike was once on the PBA tour. He also teaches bowling to high school students and drills balls. He’s the equivalent of a PGA teaching pro who can re-shaft clubs and fit them for you. Back in 1998 we were in the final week before the championship round and all we had to do was win the last game. Teams were made up of 5 men and it’s your total score against the other team’s total score including handicap. Mike bowled 4th in the order and I bowled 5th. Being 5th or anchor is important because often the game is close and you have to be able to throw 3 strikes in the 10th frame under pressure. Well Mike threw his first ball in the 10th and left 1 pin, the 8 pin. Probably one of the easiest spares there is to pick up. Well he missed it. Now I knew I had to strike out to have a chance. I did but so did their anchor and we lost by 2 pins. The next year we were in the same basic position. We had to win 2 of the 3 games  and total pins to make the championship. The memory of the previous year was fresh in my head. We lost the first game by over 150 pins. A blowout. I was the only one on my team that bowled over 200, but just barely. I told those guys, I’m not going to let it happen again and I changed balls, threw a strike then a spare then over the next 2 games threw 20 more strikes in a row. The rest of my team started to relax after I threw about 6 in a row, and the other team started pressing and they faltered and we beat them the last two games by over 250 pins, went on to the championship match the next week and won. Whenever I talk to my friend Mike these days he still brings it up. The ironic thing is that I sprained my elbow a few months before that and didn’t bowl for the longest time and still wasn’t near 100% when all this took place. In fact, after that season I didn’t bowl for 3 years. I eventually found another team to bowl on and won 2 championships with them. Oh yeah that night I threw the 20 in a row, I won over 800 bucks in jackpots. That was some nice icing on the cake for sure.

For me the taste of losing is much more bitter than the sweet taste of victory. Knowing that bitter taste is motivation enough to succeed. Enjoying the celebration with teammates is what makes the memories last. Reminiscing with them from time to time makes me feel younger, but reminds me of how time flies.

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2opinion8ed

 1st round leader in our Club Championship shot an easy 62. 10 under….Oi, it’s just not fair. Sure the course was short, & we played lift clean & cheat from the fairway (had I hit one of those it might have been easier) due to the 2″ of rain that fell in about 30 minutes last night. But…

62 is a damn fine score. I stunk, I went to the range after. I might pay Metro the local going rate for 30 minutes in NC (can’t afford her Singapore rates)

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Easingwold 14August

images (2)One of the things about the Treehouse, is, that most of us “know” eachother to a certain degree. We all come from different walks of life, different countries too. The world, thanks to the internet, is a much smaller place than it was when we were born. In those far off days, the world was a different place, things like racisim, could, to some degree be kept “in house” so to speak. This is not only true in the USA, but everywhere, including Britain when I live. In those days, the media, couldn’t report certain things that would compromise governments and establishments.The ’60’s changed all that really. The Vietnam war, ultimatly ended with the people protesting about it until Nixon had little choice but to withdraw. No war can be won without the nation’s support. Dr Martin Luther King and his dream forced many whites to look at blacks as equals. The Berlin wall fell because of a dockyard strike in Poland led by Lech Walesa and Solidarity. Here, Maggie Thatcher’s unpopular Poll Tax was withdrawn by the people’s stand against it.
The shooting of the young  black man was bound to cause a stir, as he was unarmed. Police would be on edge, are only human and make mistakes. The protests that have followed, like Rodney King 23 years ago, remind us of a historically suppresed race who were once slaves only 150 years ago. 100 years after Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, blacks were still segregated from the “superior” whites in the deep south. 100 years. Is it any wonder many of them still feel the only way to be heard is through protesting ? Emotions run high and there will be times it will spill into violence. I am not condoning that. But I understand it.

image (2) But, here in the Treehouse, we all have opinions about everything. We don’t always agree. That is a good thing. If you look at the Slingers map, more than half of the Slingers are American. America’s population is more than Britain, Canada, Singapore and the rest put together. When the mass shootings happen there, followed by the usual gun debate, emotions begin to run high, some American Slingers seem to feel it is a personal attack when non Americans question the logic of the NRA and the supporters of personal firearms. It isn’t comfortable to be forced to look at ones own flaws. We all have them, let there be no doubt about that. When it is a nations flaw and the gun laws in America are, IMO, a huge one, it almost becomes “Us against the world” kind of mentality, becuase of the outrage of such killings that seem to go on and on, now matter how terrible they are.

Because of the internet, we can all gather here, discuss things, golf together, even dare I say, become friends in some cases. But it also means we have to accept that things can’t be brushed under the carpet as they used to be, we have to face our flaws, accept we need to change some things that used to be acceptable. We are wide open now, no where to hide. We can’t look the other way like we used to.

Just my honest opinon 🙂

EMC2

image (1)Few of us ever get on our ‘high horse’ and say what we feel…what’s in our gut.     Maybe it’s the upbringing ?     Maybe it’s an event we were witness too…or worse….party too ?     Then, there are those who read a few articles and have the answers to all evils ?  AKA:  politicians.
I hope to Christ I’m not one of those.

That said, I must say this.      I would not in a million years want to be a cop (police officer).     Everyday they are sworn to uphold the laws of their land, regardless of motive, and they do their best.        Most of them do.

Whatever happened in Missouri (wherever it did or could happen, because it happens every day) is not the issue.    The problem is, how the media presents it !        Simply put, the media can make or break anything as they see fit.      Surprise ?
I’ve said a hundred times that I can identify a problem.     That doesn’t mean I’m smart enough to solve the problem…!

Only the media and the radicals can do that.      And frankly, we let them.

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tafnut 11 August

At the risk of beating a dead horse, and possibly alienating one or two Slingers, here is my take on Des.  I never really chatted too much with him, but he seemed to be a likable guy and good Slinger material.  I did not read the offending post nor any of the thread.  Having said that, it seems to me unnecessarily got his drawers in a bundle.  He went over the top with a post.  If it were me, I would have thought, “Wow, maybe I went too far.  Maybe I should reel it in a bit.”  Or, most likely, I would have been patting myself on the back for making history.  “I got deleted!!  Never happened before!  I went where no one else has gone.  Woo hoo!”  Instead he takes an indignant stand and leaves.  Seems like he cut off his nose to spite his face.

hedgehopper

@tafnut Early on I wrote a post stating that I was checking out of the Treehouse permanently.  My reason?  I felt there was a lot of abusive language being used toward Metro.  Now I realize it was in fun, but it was so blunt that I was offended.  I came to realize that everyone on here expresses themselves differently and I learned to accept it.  I also did not see Desman’s post, but he has to realize that there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed.  If he could not accept that then he made the right decision to leave.  There are posts on here that still make me grit my teeth, but I move on.  Whatever offended him should have been a “grit your teeth and move on” moment.  This is an awesome asylum!!

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metro18 5 August

Guess what I’m not having for breakfast in Pinehurst?

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UKWendy 5 August

images (1)Boo Hoo!  My mates, Easing & Scrums are going to play Celtic Manor in 3 weeks.  Originally I planned to play with them but to be honest the 2010 Ryder Cup course is very long, undulating and has too many long carries over water for someone of my skill level.  A few RC players will testify to its difficulty.  There is also the small matter of my right hip giving me gyp (although admittedly that is a secondary consideration).  However, I couldn’t bear to be left out, so Scrum’s lovely wife, Sue, said “Come on up  anyway” so I shall.  Might follow the lads around for a few holes (unless it’s raining) but lunch and a glass or two of wine appeals rather more than dunking several balls, followed by my clubs, into the drink.  At least Sue won’t have to cope with my run away trolley.

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2opinion8ed 8 August131006-rory-mcilroy

I’m out. Taking wife to dinner. Won’t see her til very late Sunday. Have a great Major Weekend

Go Rors!!

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FoghornLeghorn2EMC2 19 July

@UKWendy @EMC2

I’ve answered to ‘boy’ my entire life…!

Easingwold

@EMC2 @UKWendy

Foghorn Leghorn ?

Easingwold

 @EMC2 @UKWendy   I say boy !

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100birthdaybillycavon 10 July

@metro18 I routinely use the words MF, CS and Son of a Bitch…these are the primary adjectives used by and WIDELY accepted by those of us who are senior citizens.  It is a medical fact (pulling this out of my backside) that “Tourette Majoris” (I have no clue if there even is such a thing and not to be confused with the labia majoris) is a common ailment among senior citizens.  Of which I are one!  I would like to therefore apologize in advance if I offend anyone.  However if you’ll simply wait 5 minutes…I’ll forget that I even said it (memory diminishes with age as well).  🙂

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EMC2July 7

Update :    Not of the Bronx morons
Tiger is in the rough first 2 holes.   One over.
Phil is in the boondocks somewhere first 2 holes.  One over.
Paddy is even.      Probably smiling as well ?

metro18 Jul

@EMC2 And Matsuyama, the bloke you don’t know about is 2 under and leading. So you can bite me too!!!

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billycavon2

 The East Coast Slinger Tour event is becoming reality!  While I relish seeing old friends..I hope I get to meet new Slinger faces in North Carolina.  It’s been said many times…but it is a fact!  Slingers Rock!!!!!!!!   Phoenix to Pinehurst…7 hours (no smoking and 1 stop)…and all the Cabernet I can buy in flight? ..No Problem!!!!  Have golf bag, will travel to play with Slingers!  Priceless

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radar60

 So during our evening walk with the dogs I decided to take on going down on a hill with a 30 degree decline……and the hill won.
After a double toe flip, a triple Lutz and a full throttle face plant I landed flat on my ass  about an inch away from the poison oak.
I managed to hang onto the dog, didn’t break my glasses ,didn’t lose my phone and the only thing that got hurt was my pride.
Meanwhile my wife got injured during my roller coaster ride downhill…..she pulled a muscle laughing her ass off !

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UKWendy

OK – I’ll get back to the posts later.
Hurrah, Mark & I won our knockout competition today – through to next round. We had to choose odds or evens to tee off; usually the ladies take the odds as we start with a short par 3.  However Mark, who is somewhat of an oddball anyway, declared that he felt his driving wasn’t accurate enough lately, so he preferred me to drive off on the long holes, relying on me to put him in the fairway where he could go for the green.  We squared the first hole with a par.  Then we had a Seve moment.  I did put Mark in the middle of the fairway & he whacked a long ball left of the hole.  Thought it was o/b but found it left of the bank guarding the green.  Hit the best chip shot over that bank than I’ve hit in years to a couple of feet from the hole.  1 up.  3 up after 4.   Squared the 5th.  Oh dear, hit one of my worst tee shots on the 6th to put Mark in the woods (no, not the trees – in the woods proper).  Fortunately  that was one of the two holes  where we had to give them a shot, so it wasn’t a disaster to lose it.  Back to 3 up after the 7th where Mark hit a great drive and I hit a nervy little wedge over the bunker but close enough for him to make the putt.  The 8th was a bugbear.  I hit a good

4549813362_397x334drive, Mark hit an even better fairway shot, but as we came close to the hole he messed up his shot to the green, and I skied one to the back of the green.  Back to 2 up.  Mark put me in the trees on the  9th, & is fantastic & telling me which trees to thread it through for my next shot 🙂  I actually made it but we both duffed our chips onto the green.  Back to 1 up.  Couple we were playing against handed us the 10th by missing a short putt. (I hate the 10th hole anyway).   Mark hit the most incredible drive on the 11th, giving me a chip onto the green. Back to 3 up.  I made the green over the pond on the 12th, chap hit way right nearly into the far right pond, but lady hit the most fantastic recovery shot to square that hole.  The lady duffed her tee shot 20 yds left into the hay.  Counted my chickens as this is an easy par 4.  Mark hit it 100 yds into the hay on the right.  As both couples hacked their way out of the hay I did suggest we skip this hole.  We squared it anyway.  Halved the 14th.  Great drive by Mark on the 15th, but it arced way way left into the hay again.  We searched & searched but no luck.  Mark conceded the hole (that was where they had their second shot)  only for us to find it a few yards further on from where we were looking with a great lie.  Tough – already conceded.  2 up & 3 to play.  Good enough drive from me, superb drive from Mark onto the green.  I putted to 1″ on the hole; they missed their putt.  Match won.

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metro18 July 30, 2014428961_10200114258889735_843472977_n

How’s this??
16 years ago I met a lady on the ferry to Indonesia where we were playing golf.
She and I became very good friends. She and her husband left SG 2 years ago to go home and retire.
Tugoo lives in Atlantic Beach NC. She lives in Emerald Isle NC. 8 miles apart

It’s going to be a fun October!!!!

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desman2

 I love being a part  of ” The Slingers ” but am signing off for good and I need all of your help.
As some of you may have read I am afflicted with a disease called PTSD. It is a stress disease of the brain which controls all the body. I was attacked  by this awful condition at age 18 following events at the Military Academy at West Point. Coming from a very dysfunctional family, it didn’t take much to tip the scales. Several upperclassmen bullies snatched me sleeping in my bunk, late one night. They wrapped a wet towel around my head, to prevent me seeing them. They stripped me naked and hauled me down the hall to the shower stalls and beat me and then began to drown me by holding my covered head under a shower. They held me there a long time, yelling, whooping and punching. I actually began to ” float ” away. Then a regular army officer happened by, they ran and I came to, lying in my own shit and cold water spraying over me. The officer was disgusted to see me and angrily ordered me to clean up the mess and get back to my rack. Long story short I had to leave the academy in disgrace, nerves shot. I fought with everything I had that night. I was able to get one arm free and hit someone hard enough to cause a scream. But as I fell limp and began the last little stretch to death and then was granted a reprieve my inner fear was tweaked forever.

   I came home to a dying mother ( 1970, she died 4 years later, w/c bound, constant oxygen, hacking all day long, throwing up left over cigarette gunk. She fought for every breath ) an over worked father, who solved most issues with a beating. And three siblings all doing their best to survive. No counseling, no support, just suck it up and get going. Need job, check, need someone to talk to, ex girl friend, check, need baby, check, need wife, check, need education, check, need poverty, check, need wife to hit boss and lose job, check, need to move in with in-laws, check, need to drop out of school, check, need 60 hours per week, check, need to re-enter school, check, need to occasionally speed over to parents house because younger siblings think mother is dead, check, need divorce, check, need new wife, check, need another child, check, need to be a  nurse, check, need to go to anesthesia school, check, need to be a part of little 8 yr old black child being put into coma, check, need to graduate and be the second student to never miss a day over 18 months, check, need to see daughter in ICU and resident saying she may not make it thru the night, check ( status asthmaticus, she’ll be in ICU three more times before we finally get right doctor and right treatment ) Need to work in a profession tailor made for PTSD  recipients, check, need to have moved 52 times in my life, check. Need to see the purple face of a dead 9 year old, check, need to hear the wail of a grief stricken grand-mother, check, need to keep providing anesthesia for 9 more years, check. Need to quit.   And I need to quit thinking and worrying about this anymore. NO check. I try various things to divert the mind. Hit a golf ball over and over and over ( I understand Moe Norman ) , play the same computer game for 26 years everyday, many times a day. Read thousands of books, watch TV until 4 in the morning. Enjoy sleep deprivation and gain 125 lbs. I have tried therapy and meds and no dice. There is but one cure, support and reduce the stress. But you see when you seek support, you overload people. When you try to reduce the stress, you need financial help. No work, no pay, creditors unhappy, family left unsupported. So when you finally to get the chance to slow down, your brain is permanently fractured. CHECK !  So how do I need your help. Simple, understand why I won’t be back and please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and know a slinger out there is doing his best to survive until his number is called. And keep up the bantering, joking, enlightment, information and the other wonderful things between humans. I wish I could be a part, but I do best apart. God Bless you all and good-bye.

EMC2

 @desman2

Again, I’m speechless.       I must chew on your post a bit.
However, I do have one thought.      Just a thought.       Slingers is an escape.       For all of us.
A friend of mine in Michigan said to me years ago, ‘everyone has a bag to drag…some bags are bigger than others.’
My bag is a wallet compared to yours.        Think about keeping up with Slingers.     It’s an escape.

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fingeroldladygeneral-1 (1)

EMC2 July 23

@Callittwo @metro18 @EMC2

The only women who look at me, or talk to me, are those my age.       We all waddle down the grocery aisles and read the instructions and ingredients to anything we buy.     Or steal.

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CalSurfer July 27

 So yesterday the owner of the 3 million dollar plus house, comes up to me with his wife and says we have something for you when your done here. I’m like un-oh……. They moved a bunch of furniture into the rooms, I’m about 75% done……
He has houses in Clovis, two in Hawaii, one in Lompoc and I forget where else. Anyways, he tells me he wants to pay me to go renovate his house in LaHaina on Maui, and paint it. Go stay there, but I have to go stay there before I go out to work on it…………..He then goes, I’m so glad we ran into you…………….HUH, I’m just  LOW-LIFE SURFER DUDE………..haha
On a serious note, I think I’m gonna take him up on it in 5 months when the surf gets big in Hawaii. Go stay there for a month or two getting paid for playing in Paradise……..haha.

We’ll see.

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mx2 24 July

Great day at the international crown, we (the Mrs and I) were walking spotters for the golf channel.
Had a blast.
Basically we gave a narrative on our respective matches to the GC control room (who was sitting what, conceded putts, etc)  Got to walk inside the ropes and watch close up (not too close). Back again tomorrow to do it again

mx2 24 July

@2opinion8ed @mx2  I feel like the Beverly hillbillies, they are so straight and so long!!!.  (Shazaam!) (wait that was Gommer Pyle)
Fairways and Greens.
Almost never are they out of the hole.  On 18 Ai hit her tee shot in the hazard.  Choose to play out of the hazard and advanced it maybe five feet.  Hit her third with a fairway metal of some kind (I was across the fairway) and she hit it close to 200 yards, ball below her feet to the green.  Damn and she it about 5 foot nothing and weighs about 50 pounds (damn though she is cute)

mx2 24 July

@tafnut  Walking around with a headset, a clipboard and a golf channel hat, it was almost like I was somebody.  A fun day, I recommend it if you get a chance.  Just to see them up close, watch the swing, to see how consistent they are, it was impressive.

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2opinion8ed 19 Julymary_davies_of_new_zealand_reacts_after_finishing_in_the_women_s_marathon_N2

EMC is 96 behind Radar. With only 18 to play, it’s probably too big of a lead for him to catch. Probably

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Phugg July 16

Drive by from Vancouver BC. Leaving for the airport in two hours for an 11 hour flight back to Zurich. When I get over some jet lag, I will post some cool pics and video. Riley got his first birdie. 136 yard, par 3. He drove it perfectly and stopped three feet from the cup.
See you guys later.

.

 

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Metro 11 July on losing a bet on the cut line in the Woman’s British Open

Chevy – you’re the best!!!!!
Wanker 🙂

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WAMO 25 June

Gotta run!
The wife is due home any minute…and is she ever in for a surprise:  I have my pants on.

 

 

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tugoo 24 June

Just a cruise by. Hope all of you are well and Met is right about the Germans and their weather. I see 8 is now giving golf lessons. We’ll have to take away his amateur status….eh?
We have moved, fixed the inside of the joint…almost….painting and refurbishing and crap. Today we started in the yard and we are talking tool stuff; shovels, sledge hammers, etc.. Built a storage building and painted the damn thing too over the last few days. I am tired.TigerWoods_JustDoIt_a
But….played golf yesterday with the wifey and all is good. I think I have the electric slide out of my swing now and all is turning more as it should. The last 9 I hit every fairway and every green in regulation….long time since that happened. It’s terrible to find what works at this age because the ball is closer to you after you swing than it used to be.
Wie looked good winning…impressive how she handled the dub on #16…eh? TW is back for better or worse. He reminds me of my ex wife…looks good, spews crap and never says anything! No wonder I never really cared for him!! Have a great day ALL!!!

 

New-Redskins-Logo

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tafnut 27 June

 

ESPN just reported that the Washington Redskins have officially changed their name. They dropped the word “Washington” from their name because it was too embarrassing.

 

 

 

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article-2445053-1887CF3300000578-326_634x476mx2 26 June

Got to see Tiger make a bogey on 17 and then again on 18 (he started on the back).  Crowds were not as big as I would have thought.
My moment came when I was watching Keegan Bradley on the practice putting green.  He looks up at me and gives me a big smile, I’m thinking that was nice but I mean this was a really friendly smile.  He puts the putter down and starts to walk over to me and I’m thinking ehhh???? but then I notice the person standing next to me is a stunningly attractive young woman with a credential for inside the ropes.  He comes and gives her a kiss …
Damn him, he broke my heart

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metro18  29 June
@UKWendy I hope so too Wendy. Fingers and paws crossed. Any chance of you joining us?Edit

UKWendy
UKWendy 29 June
@metro18 It had occurred to me!! Do these courses have a maximum h/c?

metro18
metro18 29 June
@UKWendy @metro18 No. They let EMC play. They have no pride, nor scruples.

bad-golfer

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michigan-street-signGoChevyGo 27 June

Oh next week y’all wont be seeing me here. I’ll be on vacation travelling home to Michigan. My mom and especially my step dad are in poor health. I want to make sure to see them and introduce them to Kimberly. So don’t miss me too much while I’m gone

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UKWendy 26 Juneimages

Good afternoon all.  Latest offering from hairdresser:  “Never go to sleep angry.  Stay awake and plot revenge”

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jimmiejsux 25 June

metro..
Went by the Post Office today and had a package from Singapore!!!

Opened it up and………
I NOW HAVE BALLS!!!

Was so happy, I went down to the mall and showed my ass. (The girls LOVED it)

THANK YOU!!!

JJ

BTW- Keep your peepers open for a package from the US and yes…it’s safe to open it  🙂

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surfer-1CalSurfer

 So I go into Hoagies yesterday, I said FECK the world and WHAT THEY WANT from me. (in short blew this project off I’m working on that has been kicking my butt)

I go surf, have a blast, see one of the boys I mentor and a friend who used to surf professionally, just the 3 of us out. Love it when it’s like that. Bumpy, but had some fun small corners. I surf for 2.5 hours, come in and decide to go watch the US OPEN right next door to the surf shop I mentor out of. Hanging out with the girls (waitresses) having a couple of beers and a late lunch I’m watching the US OPEN. \
Some YAHOO’s come in and ask Kimmy to change the golf to the world cup…….as she changes the channel I BARK out loud—What are you doing, this is the US OPEN of golf final round…………..she looks at me sheepishly and quickly changes it back. This table of 6 people look over at me, and I say we won’t put world cup on over OUR CHAMPIONSHIP………..a couple people in the restaurant cheer loudly……….”
Kimmy comes over gives me a hug………goes sorry!! She knows I was yanking her chain, but these PUTZES that think I’m gonna allow first round world cup over my GOLF===========NEVER!!!! haha

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 slow

hedgehopper 17 June

It amuses me that the first lady teeing off in the Open this year is B. Tardy.  LOL

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IXi931MKSJWJnQnJKJbw_coyote morphed

 

EMC2  June 22

I feel better now.   Here’s Dad.  My hero

 

 

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GoChevyGo 19 June
 @Callittwo @Downsouthliquor Your rates rise faster than an 18 year old hard on

golf2day@GoChevyGo @Callittwo @Downsouthliquor  if your erection lasts 18 years see a doctor.

GGS 19June @golf2day @GoChevyGo @Callittwo @Downsouthliquor  I thought after four years you have to elect a new one

Downsouthliquor @GGS @golf2day @GoChevyGo @Callittwo @Downsouthliquor That’s true GGS, we erect a new dick in this country every 4 years

four-more-years-stupid-greedy-people-politics-1352824231

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golf2day 

Played our fist match in this years partners championship this morning, we took second last year losing the final match on the last putt for birdie.  if today is any indication we should do well again this year.  I played one of my best rounds ever, shot even par 72 with 5 birdies and an eagle on my own ball.  quite a match really, 3 out of the 4 of us birdied the first hole, luckily their guy getting a stoke on that hole made a bogey.  on the par 5 510 yard 7th hole I was ahead of everyone with 205 left to the hole, my opponent in in the rough about 230 yards out, hits a low screamer that rolls up to 3 feet for eagle, I step up and hit my 4 iron hybid to 15 feet, then made the putt to tie the hole.  I wound up -5 on the par fives but only won just one of them, the 14th, we finished them off on the 16th hole 3 & 2.  great day of golf today.

—————–cc5834daac8f350a3f3b156954365b7b

tafnut 17 June
@Phugg @hedgehopper Vietnamese cook book … 101 Ways To Wok Your Dog.

 

 

 

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tumblr_m3ypjs9PrV1r65o3qo2_400

tafnut June 18

The Slingers’ pick list looks like an historic trip to our Pacific Northwest  –  Lewis and Park.

 

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susiegolf June 21 TVFYIuolQPK35mhVLLMB_Newport

A winning team, but not THE winning team at Newport, Isle of Wight,  yesterday. Wendy, Janet and I  had a super day out, but only came home with a couple a bottles of wine from the raffle.

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Easingwold June 17

 Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Makes one think, when you hear a song like that, how much we need people with us, etc.
The Treehouse reflects that, it’s a small community in a way. It’s an escape at times, to be sure, but it’s real too. We laugh, argue, like, dislike too.We end up speaking from the heart at times, annoy fellow Slingers, making them smile too. I think sometimes, because we read and write in here, it makes us look at ourselves sometimes more than we need or want to.

I like it here, but there are times it can get at me too. More because it’s me, not the people in it. I take the piss, trying for a giggle, sometimes it backfires.Mostly Americans in here, I might come across anti American, but I’m not. It was my home once. I’ll always cherish parts of that time. The main thing that gets me is perception, the media ” who moves the needle” is one thing that makes me hot. When I say, I’m glad a European won, it’s because 3 majors are on American soil. It’s harder for the away players. It’s nothing personal and I’m sorry if I’ve annoyed some of you. Others, I don’t mind 🙂

Where I work, in these crazy times, real proper hard work goes un-noticed, because the management are into data. They need information, but the get it off workers ( I use this term lightly ) who suck up to these people in charge. They come up with an idea the management think is viable and they, the suck ups who are only trying to get off the shop floor, are rewarded hansomely. Meanwhile, the ones who sweat in the engine room, are ignored. No matter, I’d rather do that than sell my soul to these fat cats on their undeserved bonuses. After 35 years, I’ll be gone soon anyway, time to stop beating my head against a wall. When I take the piss in the Treehouse on suck ups, I am sometimes guilty of letting the real work thing cloud my head in the Treehouse. Kiss arse all you want to, just make sure it’s not after the Queen spent 12 hours on the dreaded mat, it might not smell too nice until she’s had a shower 🙂

I don’t mean to offend anyone in here. But if I thought there was a God, I’d have slit my throat by now. He put too many tests in front of me I should have had to deal with and when my son was killed in a road accident, every little thing since becomes a challenge, like a new shoulder, knee, what have you. How those poor people in Africa and the Middle east still believe, I’ll never know. Each to their own, as we say.

Last year, a young man died from work of a heart attack. He was 28. I had been teaching him how to run the machines and after 5 weeks, he was set. He had been a temp for over 3 years and was excited he had a contract to wrap Kit Kats. He had a young daughter and was getting married. He reminded me of my late son, who had moved into his house, months before he died with his bride to be. Anyway, we went to the funeral, and it was a good turnout from work.  Will was a nice young man we all liked a lot. We gave him the best send off we could. One of these workmates, was a good friend of mine for 20 years. She couldn’t talk to me though. She knew I was coping the best I could at Will’s funeral, after what happened 3 years earlier. She came to my lad’s funeral, but for 6 months after,before I returned to work, we didn’t speak. I was drowned in an ocean of whisky, trying to cope. I lost my friend, eventually, who has admitted, she can’t bring herself to speak, knowing my loss. We just say hi at work now, it’s easier that way. In many ways, it’s easier to hide all this from people you know, so normal conversations can take place. That includes the Treehouse too and sometimes, as some of you know, I can’t hide it. But inside, hiding all this, it is sheer turmoil. One doesn’t want to spoil the party, but it is one of the reasons I might come across as an arse. It gets hard, because you wonder at times, if you have any friends who can treat you normal, instead of the silence, because they don’t know what to say, like my former friend at work. So, when I get tight in here, that is why. Nothing perosnal. I love conversations, love being with people, but I know I’m hard work too. Trying to be quiet for me is like trying to breathe underwater 🙂 I find it so hard not to say something, lol. It kills me ! Funny, on a golf course, I can be quiet when people are playing their shot. Maybe I have to work on that a bit more, eh ?

When it all gets too much for me, I have to leave. That’s why I dropped out of picks.Quite odd really, as I was doing pretty good at them for a while 🙂 Next year, maybe I’ll join in again.

One of the best films I have ever seen, is “Twelve angry men” I hate gereralisation and sometimes I’m guilty of that too. If any of you have not seen this black and white classic, with Henry Fonda, made in 1957, it’s worth a viewing.When I watch it, even now, it’s good for my soul.

I have been struggling the last 8 weeks and at times, I’ve been a pain in the arse. This time, it’s my knee. I’m probably going to need a new one at some point. I haven’t practised in 5 weeks. Even Wendy is practising more than me, lol. I find practise theraputic for my soul, never mind good for my game. I’m at peace when I hit balls. But my game needs it bad. I’m going to strap up my knee and get down to the range, work on the tips Met put up. Then the short game too.

It’s hard to talk to people who know my story, they know I could break down any minute and don’t feel comfortable about it. I understand. It was inside boiling over the last few weeks, so it felt good to get it off my chest here.

You know I can’t stay quiet for long 🙂

Have a nice day, whatever you’re doing. Cheers

GoChevyGo June 17

 @Easingwold Easy, all of us Americans hate you fecking Brits to no end! HA! That is so not true. One thing we like to do is argue. Having opposing points of view only makes it more interesting. Now we have a damned Canadian in here too which only makes it more fun. A Canadian is kind of a half Brit, half Yank. Not a bad blend most of the time. I can only speak for myself but I’m sure most slingers will agree and feck them if they don’t, but having an opinion is everyone’s right. We have all been on this planet for some time now and have all had to bear our own crosses. You and I share some of the most difficult challenges life can offer a person. I lost my stepson at 13 who I raised since he was 1 1/2 years old and lost my best friend on my last day of high school. Neither of those could compare to losing my own son as you lost yours even as painful as those were, they surely cannot compare. I say this knowing the difference between the love I have for my two children and the love I had for those I’ve lost. Having friends to share my feelings was important though. I can’t imagine not being able to cry about it to those who say they are my friend. To me a friend is there in good and bad times alike. More so when times are their worse. Yeah I am a man who cries. I need to let it out when it gets to that point, and I’m not ashamed of it. I have emotions because I care. I have never been able to hide them and stopped trying a long time ago. I think being able to express my feelings has helped me get through all the BS I’ve had to. I wont go into the rough road life paved for me. I’ll just be thankful it wasn’t any worse. I was born in a great country that allowed me to make choices and have a pretty decent life. I am sure you can say the same things. As bad as it seemed sometimes, it could always have been a bit worse. Like you, I don’t believe in God like many do. I do believe that all things, people included are connected by a common thread, and that all things came from the same source. Our life forces are made of energy which never truly dies, and at some point in time we will all be reunited in some way. The universe is cyclical and this only makes scientific sense in my opinion. I may be wrong, but it makes as much sense as anything anyone’s ever tried to convince me of otherwise.

All that being said. This place we all gather to share thoughts, poke fun at each other, and even talk about golf on occasion, is a great place to speak your mind freely. We don’t have to be concerned with people agreeing with us or not, or if we’re going to piss anyone off. They usually get over it pretty quickly. At least I do. I don’t agree with yours or met’s views on gun control, but respect your opinions on the matter and understand the logic that forms your opinions. We can get into that debate some other time. I’d just like to say that even though have never met you, or met or most of the rest of the yahoos on here, I really like you all. I consider you all friends even though most of us have never met. And those I have met, are great guys. I have thanked met before for bringing us all together here, making this big world a little smaller. I look forward to the days that I will get to meet more of you, for a round of golf and a lot of conversation.

And easy, you can always just be yourself around me, good or bad. I’ll continue to hate you just the same as always.!

Your friend from across the pond always,

Bruno (Chevy, aka Ford by some retards in here

 scrums June 17

 Losing a child must be one of the toughest things in life…..not something you get over,trying to live with it is a daily struggle. My sister lost her 34 year old daughter to cancer 10 years ago…..the pain never goes away.
I have met and played golf with you Easy…..you are great company and a good lad. The TH is a place where all opinions are welcome,nobody stays mad with anyone for long….even though some of us are mad from time to time.!!

What do you mean about Wendy practising more than you……..she is a beast……the monster you created Dr Frankenstein 🙂
As for Met……she’s a very benign Nurse Ratched trying and largely succeeding in keeping control of the inmates of this particular nuthouse.
Heck I don’t think I’ve said so much in…….we’ll years!!….and it’s all your fault Easy.Damn you.!! 🙂

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June

10451157_10152518154846907_5440257958242420306_n

 Metro18 18 June

Just for you EMC 🙂

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metro18 moderator

An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”
The Engineer asks, “What does that tell you?”lone_20ranger
The MBA ponders for a minute: “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, then speaks.
“Practically…Someone has stolen our tent”

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Maxwell1

Maxwell1

 Five reasons the majority of Americans ignore The World Cup:
1. Too busy ignoring The Stanley Cup.
2. If we want to see fights in the stands we would go to a little league game.
3. Americans get nervous when they tune in on television to what appears to be an illegal immigration rally.
4. If we wanted to watch low scoring we would tune in the network that has Donald Trump’s show.
5. Who wants to be in a stadium full of Germans standing and raising their arms to cheer.  Not a great place to be.

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EMC2

 @

How about,……we can’t understand what the hell they are saying or doing ???
Simple.      It’s pure BS.        A 3 hour game with the final score 0 – 0 , and the winner is only because of a free kick…??     Seriously ?

metro18 r

@tafnut @EMC2 @Maxwell1 What about a game where you only make contact with the ball every three or four minutes and takes 4 hours plus to play. Low score wins too. Weird huh?

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o-NO-PANTS-DAY-facebookUKWendy 

 Hey Wam  – you can put your pants back on.  I won the tournament today.  Easing has access to my club results, so he’ll tell you I’m not lying.

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billycavon2 

 Just a thought guys…seems our treehouse has been giving our good friend Lee Carrington some grief as of late.  And I know she works kind of like Billy does..non stop with little sleep in-between.  I just wanted to take a minute to raise my glass and toast our beloved leader.  She is amazing!  I know first hand having had the privilege of spending time with her.  She maintains this website, posts the scores, addresses issues and complaints and takes the time to respond to individual emails (at least she does to mine!!!)…and her salary is zero.  She does this for the love of the game and for the love of the people she has surrounded herself with.  Metro..thank you for all you do and thank you for making me a Slinger!  I love this world you have created.

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WAMO 

 I gotta run.
Just wanted to drop by and see how Chevy’s Grated Scrotum was healing.
I guess he’s wearing Jerky Shorts now?

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radar60

 In 1987 I did a 4 week cross country tour from New York to LA. On my way back to Amsterdam I decided right then and there that I was going to leave Holland and I was back less than a year later and never looked back.

On that trip I was supposed to go to Yosemite National Park but that was cancelled because of huge forest fires there that year. I finally made it to the park this weekend, 27 years late. It’s a magical place with spectacular waterfalls, giant sequoias, tons of wild life and breath taking hikes. The only thing that was missing was a bear encounter…bummer. Easily ranks in my top 5 of special places I visited , Yellowstone, Bryce Canyon, Yosemite, Zion, Canyon de Chelly.   I’m blessed to have seen all these places !!!

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Golf-Putting-Finger-Funny-1024x639metro18 moderator

I played with my ADT boy yesterday. He has a problem – he’s hitting it too far. Seriously.

 em66

 @metro18 I understand….that’ my problem too.  We are talking about putting, right?

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skydiver2

Found this on MSN this morning.  I was wondering if it was any one of you guys here. ; – )  Reported to be from the “Temple Bar”, Brighton, England.  Evidently, y’all have quite an appetite.  Of course I know it is not Easy, he survives on Kit Kats.  ; – )

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16Oivz8lRpSMFNHm7DVm_palmer (1)

EMC2

FYI, this is the Arnie I grew up with.       The working man’s golfer….he definitely played the part to perfection.

______________2-funny-on-drugs-pictures1

EMC2

Billy, I was going to call you a washed up druggie.      Decided against it.     I looked in the mirror…

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desman2 24 Mayimages

Irish Wit.
David Feherty is well known for his Irish wit. He tells a story about his father stumbling home after one drop too many at the local pub. ” Is my dinner still warm, woman ? “, he asked his long suffering wife. ” Yes, ” she said, ” it’s in the dog. ”

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IsThisOn 22 May

@hedgehopper Woz is available…young men can be distracted

 Radar60 22 May

 @IsThisOn @hedgehopper I think I’m too good looking. Judged by her latest boyfriend studs like me aren’t really her thing.

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EMC2 22 May

@Downsouthliquor @GoChevyGo @Callittwo @metro18

I haven’t gone to a gym in 35 years.       They threw me out because I smelled funny.      I always had to shower before I worked out

GoChevyGo 22 May

 @Downsouthliquor @Callittwo @metro18 @GoChevyGo  Me personally I just need to work on my cardio. It’s just so tiring though. All that exertion…can’t I just do it sitting down?

EMC2 22 May 

 @Callittwo @GoChevyGo @Downsouthliquor @metro18

I don’t drink much beer anymore.       Just give me a vodka bottle with a straw.

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metro18 24 May

@desman2 Morning Des

desman2 24 May

@metro18 @desman2  Morning beautiful.

EMC2 24 May

@desman2 @metro18

Thank you honey…….you had better clear this with Two….he’s my man.

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Downsouthliquor 24 May

Here is one for skydiver
Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: WHACK…”Damn”! A bad Skydiver goes: “Damn”!…WHACK.

 

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Downsouthliquor 24 May

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.

They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

The wife asked the man, “Do you live here?”

“No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!” he answered.

The husband asked, “Are you a genie?”

“Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself,” the man replied.

The husband and wife agreed on two wishes – one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.

The genie nodded his head and said, “Done!”

The genie now said, “For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire.”

The husband and wife agreed.

After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, “How long have you been married?”

To which she responded, “Three years.”

The genie then asked, “How old is your husband?”

To which she replied, “31 years old.”

The genie then asked, “And how long has he believed in this genie crap?”

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radar60 22 May

I pick Kuch to win and he’s the worst of all my players so far. That has been the trend lately. I have Furyk as my alternate. But only 3 strokes better. If I exchange Kuch will probably go -5 tomorrow, if I don’t he’ll probably miss the cut.
That little pr&*Ck Charlie Schwartzel did the same thing to me last week, got rid of him and he ended up with a better score than all my other picks.
Lemme grab another glass of wine and ponder this for a moment…..

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GoChevyGo 22 May

@2opinion8ed  In the earlier statement, McIlroy took the blame for the breakup.

”The problem is mine. The wedding invitations issued at the weekend made me realize that I wasn’t ready for all that marriage entails,” McIlroy said. ”I wish Caroline all the happiness she deserves and thank her for the great times we’ve had. I will not be saying anything more about our relationship in any setting.”Does’t sound like an asshole to me. Sounds like a young man realizing he wasn’t ready for marriage. Once the reality set in he changed his mind. I say good for him

 em66 22 may

 @GoChevyGo @2opinion8ed  Just celebrated my 40th anniversary.  Would marry her again today.

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metro18  20 Mayay

 Lucy Li. 11 years old and wins the qualifier for US Ladies Open by 7 shots!

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metro18 20 Maymod

@2opinion8ed @metro18  I got given a doll for Christmas one year. I cried for a week. I wanted a slug gun.
Never got the gun either.

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GoChevyGo 20 May

Well, I shot 52 one handed yesterday from the senior tees. Parred the last 3 holes. Not easy playing one handed but it was better than not playing at all

hedgehopper 20 Ma

@GoChevyGo

I have to hand it to you…

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2opinion8ed 19 Maycocosquat

@Easingwold  I’d look in the mirror, BUTT some pics distracted me. HOLY COW. My favorite part of a woman. It’s on the opposite side from where words come out!

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EMC2 18 May

I can honestly say, I’ve had the very same feeling.     For many many years.     I’d wake up and hit the start button on the coffee pot.     Sit in the recliner waiting for the’ beep’ when it’s done.     I followed that incredible smell into the kitchen and stirred half & half into the coffee.     And back to the recliner.    I planned the day.     Better, I planned the weekend.      Took another sip and savored that coffee taste.      Hmmm….where do I go ?   article-2240620-16472C78000005DC-477_634x466  What do I take along ?      Dammit, I’ve got to charge the camera and cell phone batteries.
Hell.    Not the golf course but, the canyons, mountains and/or the desert where I had studied the terrain and the history.      Prospecting.       For gold and silver.     Lookin’ for the jackpot.    The vein.    The nugget.      The glare of gold or silver as I peered at the ore sample with loupe in hand.       What a rush ?
Just like golf.     Which had my attention for so many years.      I have been very blessed….2 passions.

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CalSurfer 14 May

 The thing you forgot to mention Metro about his year in 1945. The Vardon trophy wasn’t awarded that year. Nelson averaged 68.34, second all time behind Tiger’s 68.17. That is crazy good, he’d of beat anybody that year, literally. War years or NOT!! Think about how crazy good that was with the equipment, balls, and courses not as pristine as they are today. Just my take……..

EMC2 15 May

@CalSurfer

Don’t confuse us with the facts Cal.
I believe the single biggest achievement in pro golf was Nelson’s 11 wins in a row.        Now, there’s a record that will NEVER be broken.
However, his best pales in comparison to me in 1962.      I asked 27 girls for dates on 27 consecutive weekends, and was turned down 27 times.      But, my bowling average hit 175 that year !

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tugoo 17 May

A little Saturday humor for all who love to fly

funny_condom_de_motivational_posters_kids_baby_03-s400x300-159566A man boarded a plane with six kids.(gutsy guy!) After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints

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desman2 

Took in the second round of the Byron Nelson. Was going to do Sunday, but something came up so went today. Beautiful course and extremely up and down. Man the 16th is over 500yds + but all up hill, lot of bogeys there. Finally settled in at the 18th right where most of the pros were landing. Got to be up close with quite a few and one thing stood out, none of them interact at all with the crowd. Where have all the Chi Chi”s, Trevinos, Palmers, Zellors, Couples and others gone? Only Dufner made some eye contact and smiled. The rest, straight faced, quiet and etc. Lot of money now days no time for the crowd, sad to witness. It’s just a fecking game and the fans pay the bills. Oh well still had a great time and saw some outstanding shots. Worth the trip.gwsl01_wip0424

Downsouthliquor 16 May

@desman2

Des the best day to go see a tournament sometimes is during the Pro-Am, Tues or Wed. They aren’t so serious on those days. We walked along with John Daly back in the 90’s and he talked to me and a friend quite a bit. He even gave me his autograph on his empty cigarette box.

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metro18  15 Mayay

images (2)Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
“Tell me about your staff,” he asked Paddy.
“Well,” said Paddy, “there’s the farm hand, I pay him ¤240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there’s the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There’s also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife.”
“That’s disgraceful” said the inspector, “I need to interview the half-wit.”
“That’ll be me then,” said Paddy

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metro18  

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.images (3)
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Get well rubbing

Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.

_____________Easingwold 15 May

Right now I’m on the nightshift. But I’m going to Scotland tomorrow afternoon for 3 nights. Playing Kingsbarns Saturday morning and the weather will be good. £215.00 for the round ( birthday treat ) but to me, worth every penny. Of course if I was a pro, I’d pay feck all, lucky bastards 🙂 golfing in Scotland is always special. A privlidge .

I’ll do a post next week if you like

images (4)Easingwold 18 May

I realise no one gives a feck how I played, but I’ll try to do a good post that reflects a golfing trip to Scotland. When you walk behind the 18th at the Old Course, watching people putting out, then walking off with a smile on their faces, kind of says it all. I’ve been there a dozen times and it’s always the same. Golfing magic for a nutter like me

Cheers

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desman2 7 May 

Just gotta share a good moment with all you poo slingers.

Bought myself some new Pings and gave my old ones away to the local club who’ll find some kid in need. Haven’t received my irons yet, but took home my 3 & 1 wood and began to practice and was hitting them pretty decent, but very high, too high. Using 10* on driver and 15* on 3 wood both stiff shafts and I measure out at 92mph on driver. But then tried working the ball and was so messed up and frustrated by this evening after several sessions and about 200 balls I was ready to whirly bird a club. Push slices, pull hooks, ground burners, high and low slices, low hooks and no draws or fades. I was trying to follow what Martin Hall had to phelps22-ping-golf-clubssay and I was FECKED UP !!!!

Then as I was about to quit I said at least let me try to get back to a straight shot for my foursome tomorrow and I could not even hit a decent straight shot. I sat down, calmed down, cool down and got down to some logical thinking. I remembered George Knudson, my avatar and his thoughts and said to myself If I set up in balance ( Knudson’s most important principle ) and swing smoothly and evenly back and thru a mirror image of themselves then the club should square up just a little front of center-midline so I set up balanced, ball just in front of left eye and swung back and thru visualizing both back and downswing being equal and I hit three of the prettiest drives of my life. Then I put the ball back about 1.5 inches and swung the same and hit three nice baby draws, so moved it forward 1.5 and three sweet tiny fades. I am stoked and having two beers. life is good.

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Maxwell1 16 May

Sergio-Garcia-runningJust a few words for my picks.
Walker.  Start running!
Bye, Bae.  No joy luck club pick here.
And, you. Yes you.  Put your Johnson in the bag and leave the field Dustin themselves off.
Matt.  I want to hear, “Koo-Koo” for Kuchar putts. Then you will be the serial killer of would be champions.  Remember.  It is better to be seen on the front of a cereal box than on the back of a milk carton.
Keagan.  One word. Ridlin.  Hitting the greens in regulation means it is okay to do.

________________

2opinion8ed 17 May

I’ve been yearning for Lydia’s Tank V-line, but couldn’t find anyone who’d ship before middle of next week, so I was resolved to using one of my 19 other putters (that each suck in their own way) for the 11 rounds in 11 days starting this Saturday.
I drop off a prescription for the wife & had half an hour to kill, so I pulled into Dicks Sporting Goods, & WTF? They got them in yesterday. I’m stoked. I’ve been assured that her stroke comes with the putter, & there are rumors that it’s the putter that tells the wedges to pitch & chip them close. I can’t LOSE!
It’s a solid little putter. I went 35″, & have only tried it with the 15/15/15g weights in place. But, to be able to change the balance & weight to optimize feel on the varying speeds of greens I play should be a benefit.

hedgehopper 

 @2opinion8ed

funny-animals-chimp-playing-golf_display_image8ed,
The situation with your putter(s) might be the same as the problem with most cars:  The nut behind the wheel!

_______________

tugoo 

Morning Metro,

Just a fly by to say hi to all. We are in the last stages of the prep for the move. We have bought a house in Atlantic Beach, NC…on the coast as if the word beach didn’t give it away. Packing this week, moving next and then the somewhat redo of the joint we have bought. The wifey is very happy to be going back “home” and for that I am satisfied. I just hope I can survive the “cooler” climes in the winter. These old bones don’t like cold!beach-view-by-cape-lookout
Things seem to be going well in the TH and that is great!! I played last Friday for the first time in 3 weeks….moving 800 miles away, which is not that far, seems to cut into the spare time.
You guys have a great day and keep it going. What a suckee finish to the Players….eh? Kaymer could have owned the house with the odds he would make that putt on 17!!! Should not have come to that….he played stupid on 15!!

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metro18 May 9m

Morning ladsFunny Fat People Pictures 400x309

hedgehopper

@metro18

Hi mom!

Downsouthliquor

@hedgehopper @metro18

Morning Metro.

 hedgehopper

@Downsouthliquor @Callittwo @hedgehopper @metro18  I’m in shape…round is a shape!

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metro18  May 8mo

imagesTwo hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?’
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!

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radar60 May 11woods_bmw_oscillation_copy_800_0

Read about the Rose penalty and saw the video . Maybe for the purist this is all fair and square. For me it’s total and utter bullshit that Rose ended up with a two stroke penalty.
However, if this would have been Tiger we would have had to endure another 6 months of the FUX troll ” he is a cheater” crowd. Thank the Lord this was a white guy from the UK it happened to. Everybody will have forgotten about it next week.

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arthed5

desman2 May 10

@Downsouthliquor @desman2 He has been added to my prayers. My son was in the 25th out of Hawaii, then went to a recruiting position in Surprise , AZ, he found that to be SOOOOO much fun ( read NOT ) now in logistics, his team sets up communications so needs of units can be coordinated for resupply. He’s an E-8 now and going for 20. He was able to complete his BS in finance while being in and as you can see Papa is dam proud

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desman2 May 10041612-GOLF-Jack-Nicklaus-EN-PI_20120416234948860_660_320

Even the greatest golfer ( read: Nicklaus ) has his frustrations. Jack was finishing a round at the Tournament Of Champions in Las Vegas. But not happily. He had missed an Eagle putt on 18 and stormed off the green muttering, ” No matter how I try, I can’t break 64 on this course. ” A nearby writer sympathized: ” What a terrible thing to have to go through life with…

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itr__1215944040_golf-trophy

golf2day 10 May

@Downsouthliquor @em66   only thing better than golf is free golf!

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metro18 9 May

Scores done

billycavon2

@metro18  Looks like the reign of terror (EMC leading ) is over.  Love ya bro

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Maxwell1 9 Maye3338206a1f92ed9ee69c78b45b617d8e6a69a3a16aadcd69cd9e37b37a6c56c

I will be back to collect membership dues from the latest recruits.  Unlike Metro and EMC, I take cash only!

Downsouthliquor

@Maxwell1

Will Peso’s work? I have some laying around from my last trip to Mexico and I don’t plan on ever going back.

 

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Doral Furore 06

GoChevyGo 9 May

@Callittwo @hedgehopper Bubba has 2 masters jackets more than 99% of all PGA tour players who have swing coaches

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EMC2 

 This tourney has everything a man needs to cough, gag and barf…Let’s see ?12223745
First, Jim ‘The Ghost’ Furyk.     The most irritating male golfer on the planet.   OK….he’s going to hit it ?    Nope.   He hitched his pants…AGAIN?      Nope.     AGAIN !    Good grief…!
Second, Ben ‘wait – PLEASE – wait, I’m almost ready’ Crane.     I’m taking a nap here in the cholla cactus.   Leave me alone !
Third, Kevin ‘Is there a restroom here – so I can choke and gag each and every hole’ Na.     That’s right.      Even before he chokes – he chokes !
Sean O’Hack is forth.     Dammit, my mom and dad hate me……they MADE ME play golf and make millions.    Those bastards !!!      Poor – POOR Sean.    What a joke !
Then of course, number 5.    DL3.      My favorite Freddie lover.   He would do most anything – anywhere to please his secret love, Freddie the Puppet.     I love you Freddie !!!!!….he would yell on Amen corner.

Current score 5

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2opinion8ed May 1

@metro18  ITO? Is he Japanese? Or were his parents, hippies?

em66 1 May

@2opinion8ed @metro18

Probably Japanese Hippies……

2opinion8ed 1 May@em66 @2opinion8ed @metro18  There are no Japanese hippies. Imagine what their eyes would look like if they were stoned?

Current score 5

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scrums 3 May

 I’m really going to have to listen to the wife and get a new laptop……………sooo.oooooo slow

UKWendy 3  May

 @scrums  GET A NEW LAPTOP NOW!!!  JUST DO IT!!!  🙂

scrums 3 May

  @UKWendy @scrums   Hi Wendy……………….if Nike made condoms that would be their slogan too….!!!

Currents core 5

 

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EMC2 May 3

@UKWendy @EMC2

Wendy is one fine woman.     Slippery when wet, the sign says.     Take my word for it

I don’t need no stinkin’ commas

Current score 5

Spain 012UKWendy May 4

 Hurrah!  Drinks next door whilst the sun is shining.  Tout a l’heure!

Maxwell1 May 4

 @UKWendy
Wendy and drinks…sounds like an injury waiting its turn too happen.

Current score 5

 

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EMC2 

I was at work….only because yesterday (Sat) I left early.    My ‘abs’ (among other things), were killin’ me.    So, I went to work today (Sun) to do the right thing.        I’m maybe 10 miles max from Villa de Paz, where ‘asshole Billy’, Prince charming Danny, and the Tomato King’ Fons are playing.

Yep.      I showed up.    Maybe 10 minutes after I got there they were pullling clubs from their carts and shoving them into their vehicles.       HA !!!      Perfect timing.     We drank alcohol and discussed life’s issues, with Hollis as the referee.

Made my day !!!

Current score 5

 

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Callittwo 29 April

 @EMC2 Since you opened the dick stuff…

Little Johnny and Sally walking home from kindergarten, and she asks him what a penis is. “I don’t know ” he replies, but I’ll find out. Next morning his Pa is in bathroom shaving, and Johnny asks him what a penis is. His dad smiles,  takes off his towel and points down, saying to his son, “this is a penis, in fact, this is a perfect penis”. Off to school Johnny goes, and excitedly tells Sally he found out the answer. He drops his drawers, and tells her, ” this is a penis…..in fact if it was 4 inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!”

Current score 6

 

 

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UKWendy May 2

Good fun game with Susie, her husband & their friend,  Dave, today.  Ladies (term used loosely) vs Gents (even looser as Davewomen_are_better_drivers_cards-r274b7f166a3341c9abe7aee7fe95a40c_xvuak_8byvr_512 shouts “Dickhead!” at himself whenever he duffs a shot).  Overcast and cold wind, but at least it was dry – Tuesday was horrendously wet).  Sue & I won the first hole, but thereafter went 2 down and couldn’t pull it back as the Gents really did hit some superb shots.  We were 3 down when my battery died at the end of the 13th hole.  Sod’s law it would happen leaving me to push my trolley up the uphill par 5 14th!   Retired to the clubhouse for lunch and a glass of the red stuff with Susie, leaving the Gents to play the last 4 holes by themselves.

Lot of competitive golf coming up in the next few weeks.

Currents score 7

 

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08IJdMoHQSSAm4Rak4pR_WP_20140429_001

GoChevyGo May 1

The aftermath.

Current score 8

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comics-sandbox-1092152

golf2day April 30

I’m playing for planet earth and just waiting for an alien nemesis to play a friendly match.

Current score 5

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radar60 May 1

 I was born in Holland and spend the first 28 years of my life there. My roots ,my family and my culture is Dutch. images (3)One of the traits of the Dutch is that they are well traveled, little shitty country already ruled the seas 300 years ago and we had colonies all over the place. I left in 1988 to pursue my dreams. They could not be met in my native country in what I do ( hydroponic horticulture) Spend the next 12 1/2 years in Canada, met my wife there , my kids were born there. Opportunity knocked on my door in AZ in 2001 and I walked straight through it. So now I’ve been a law abiding tax paying US resident for almost 13 years.
I bleed orange when it comes to soccer and speed skating. When I hear Oh Canada when the Montreal Canadiens are playing it still sends shivers down my spine.And I cheer for the US in any other sport.
I still have my Dutch passport even if I’ve been gone for more than 25 years and even if I never go back to live there. I guess you can’t take the Dutch out of the Dutch. For me Jenny Shin can fly whatever flag she damn well wants.

Current score 5

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susiegolf 23 April

v9m8IGxSSHis15EX8Q0z_20140422_104857-1

@GoChevyGo @susiegolf  It is beautiful.  Wendy has got sunburnt, silly woman! We were paired with a Dutch couple today and had great fun playing with them. They were worse golfers than us and had not much idea about rules or etiquette but we had a good laugh. I actually managed to beat Wendy, and as she has no computer here and is totally unable to defend herself I shall milk that for all it is worth!

Current core 7

susiegolf 24 April YZvl9UZFQqGoM0mBbQSe_2014-04-23 15.29.58

Today’s golf outfits. Wendy is annoyed because her matching shoes aren’t in the photo! She beat me resoundingly today which may be because I was feeling a bit under the weather this morning.  Nuff said about that for now although I guess Wendy will drop me in it at some point!

Current score 6

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CalSurfer 25 April 

It’s Offical ladies and gents, and you too 8, emc, and ford………..

Dirck has chosen and made it official, he will attend the University of California Irvine (Anteaters–ZOT) for computer engineering. Gotta run…..have a great day everyone.

Currents score 6

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Callittwo

Indulge me if you have heard this one

Mrs. Chen, a frustrated golf widow, decides to take some lessons. She has her first lesson , and metro is wishing she choose Accounting or law as a career afterwards. Second lesson is not going much better, the poor woman is just not grasping anything. Finally, an exasperated Metro tells Mrs. Chen to just take hold of the club as if it were her husbands cock, and swing away. Incredibly , she stripes one 240 yards down the middle with a slight draw. Metro looks at it in disbelief, and says to her, “Mrs Chen, that was wonderful, now take the club out of your mouth and use your hands!

Current score 6

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Maxwell1

@Callittwo

Welcome to the TH.  It is really going to freak out Metro when she finds out that you also post on FUX as Infullofit.  But, don’t worry I won’t tell her.

Now Doc on the other hand will spill his guts at the drop of a hat.  And that hat is the only thing holding his eyes open.  And, oh yeah, watch what you say to Radar about his gender.  He is a little touchy that area.  And, EMC, well, I am sure you have a flat tire before, enough said there.  Hedge can be a little sensitive and is prone to mood swings.  It happens usually when Ed and Chevy give him advice.  Ssssh.  I think someone is lurking.  We will talk more later.

Currents core 6

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2opinion8ed 27 April

funny-golf-potty-putting-trainingI almost made eagle on 18 yesterday. Hit a majestic shot to 7 feet & hit the putt exactly how I wanted & it didn’t break half an inch. Rolled over the right edge & circled the cup. Not quite the result I was wanting, but tap in birdies are never hard to take. Shot 75 with 34 putts.

Ha, I used both “almost”, & “not quite” in 3 sentences. Yep, I’m your man

Current score 5

CalSurfer 27 April

I came, I saw, I KICKED ARSE, I RILED, my job is done……….haha

Thanks for the banter, I have to get going to work…………have a great day everyone. Just wanted to stir the shit pot.

BTW, saw a post on FB yesterday, that said:

Anybody who stirs the shit pot, should have to lick the spoon!!!! haha

Current score 5

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3.5.12-Dork

EMC2 24 April 

I’ve read a bunch over the last few days.      C2 is the new 8ed !       Both were invited by ‘our queen’ and promptly took over the board.HA !!!!

I guess somebody has too ?     Sure as hell Wamo and JJ aren’t capable ?

And EMC is a dork….according to his brothers…all 3 of them.

Current score 5

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Callittwo April 24e12781466f843a3fbfea55e378436116d146f916386ed30ab8e8e096bc57145c

@metro18 @scrums@GoChevyGo@Maxwell1@Callittwo yeah, but for christs sakes, will someone teach those bastards how to merge a car into traffic….

 

Current score 5

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funny-star-trek-pictures-bacon-wrapped-media-20scrums April 24

I read in the paper that scientists have discovered ‘gravity waves’ which could mean thet there are parallel universes where other people are living parallel lives to ours……………..i don’t understand it but watching Star Trek years ago certainly makes more sense….ha.!!

Current score 5

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GoChevyGo April 23

DMA-46_MED

Met’s often called Chevy a wanker

He doesn’t mind, in fact he’s thanked her

You know that it’s true

She really loves you

If she calls you wanker, dickhead, or shanker

Current score 5

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Easingwold April 22

Noticed a lot of debates ( if you can call them that on Fox 🙂 ) about players greatness in different eras. I think we all agree there are more players with great golfing skills than there used to be. In all sports, more players, do more things well than before. You would struggle to find a bad bunker player in the pro ranks today, for instance. But I never see anyone mentioning pressure and how players cope with it. Jack Nicklaus, most people’s choice as the greatest ever, had this ability to play his game when most of the time, his rivals couldn’t quite play theirs. He said many times, he wasn’t even the most talented or skilled player in his time. Jack’s opponents allowed Jack to get in their heads during the tournament, like Tiger’s rivals did most of his career. When Jack birdied the 16th at Augusta in ’86, Seve was stood over his second shot on the 15th and backed off. He said years later it got to him and he hit his shot fat into the water.

It’s that abilty to play your own game without thinking about what the others might do that separates the great from the good in any era. Anyone who has played sport at any level has experienced this. What made Jack so great was the more pressure there was, the better he performed. Most players, even today, the reverse is true, despite the higher number of skilled players.

Is it harder for a player to dominate today ? I don’t believe so. Only players who handle the pressure cooker can do this, in any sport. And those players a very rare, but do and will come along every now and then.
Just my opinon 🙂

 

Current score 5

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golf2day 18 April how-easter-eggs-02

look out below, 6, 8,12 over and 1 wd for my team are these really pro’s on my team?  all my Easter Eggs in one basket now with the kid Spieth.  the way my PGA picks are going, he and the Easter bunny will W/D this weekend.

Currents score 5

____________hedgehopper 18 April Caddy-5

EMC:  I’d move heaven and earth to be better at golf!

Caddie:  Try for heaven, sir, you’ve already moved a lot of earth.

Current score 5

________________________________

 

THE LIMERICKS 

hedgehopper  17 April 

Chevy has a clever limerick about halfway down the page.  Let’s all try to do one.

There once was a young lass named metro (poetic license here)

Who swore to the world she was hetero (that poetic license thing again)

When you watch the girl play

You would swear she was gay

But she claimed “Like Zaharias I’m retro”.

That should lower the bar enough for everyone to chime in.

 

Current score 5

hedgehopper 17 April

A good-natured Slinger called DocMike

Wanted KY Jelly but grabbed Locktite

The mixup of the jelly

Left him belly-to-belly

With a one night stand for a fortnight!

 

(The more tired I get, the more my judgment lapses)

Current score 8

,

 Hedge 17 April

There once was a Slinger named Chevy

Who thought that his posts were quite “heavy

Love tips he related

And pontificated

While drinking Grey Goose by the levee

Current score 8

,

hedgehopper

A lovely Brit lass name o’ Wendy

Said “Fellows it’s hard to offend me”

And it seems she was right

‘Cause try as we might

She always remained to us friendly.

(Yeah, I don’t know why her cut her so much slack either)

Current score 8

.

hedgehopper 1

There once was a Slinger named taf

Whose posts were all good for a laugh

He could break down the field

With the numbers he’d wield

But his four picks were usually a gaffe!

Currents score 7

.

hedgehopper 17 April

A crusty old cuss called Coyote

Had a long love affair with peyote

He smoked it in bed

And it went straight to his head

Now he can’t even make a limerick rhyme!

Current score 7

.

tafnut 17 April

There once was a Slinger named Ford.

Who thought he was forever adored.

But truth be told,

his comments got old.

In fact, we were really quite bored.

Current score 7

J/K Chevy.  Love ya!

Current score 7

.

 

GoChevyGo  17 April 
There was a Slinger who begged for stars

He was fond of big breasted maids in bars

But as he got old

His digging for gold

Far exceeded his pursuit of birdies and pars

Current score 7

.

GoChevyGo17 April

Hi Wendy

UKWendy17April

Hi Chevy – good one, that

@GoChevyGo He’s happy when anyone even notices him 🙂

.

EMC2 18 April 

There once was a shiela named Lee

always catching, then seducing her fee.

She verbally abuses

grabs, kicks, and refuses

to ever take men seriously.

I’ll try again later…?

Must try a different noun….like bitch ?

Current score 5

.

Chevy  17 April

There once was a band of misfits

JJ claimed his cow had the best tits,

They gathered at Fox,

But were so abnoxed

Made a tree house to share tidbits.

Currents score 5

 

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CalSurfer 

So I’m giving surf lessons to 5 people, one right after the other, and surfing a few waves in between myself. In this photo, I was just given relief from assisting this girl. I had my first amount of water in about 4-5 hours.

USv0P5Y9QIij7G33XIuB_IMG_3862I get out and see this girl shaking about 30 feet away, I realize after about 5-10 seconds she is having a seizure. Mind you, she is only 17 years old I find out. I run over to her after about 10 seconds and say she is having a seizure, recognize she is face down, and will be able to breath, so I tell these people don’t touch her, let her ride it out, as I run to the pier to find a lifeguard to assist her immediately. As I run I see one on a 4-wheel so I yell at him, people all around looking at me, as I yell at the top of my lungs again and motion him to come my way.
Well, he gets there, and paramedics are summoned. This girl literally had no idea what she went through after it subsided and we tended to her for about 10-15 minutes. Paramedics arrived about 8 minutes after it all started, and after another 7 minutes assisting them, I left it to the PRO’s….. This gal’s friend was stunned, and had no idea what was going on, also being 17, she literally just froze and had no clue what to do…..
Interesting how life can change in an instant, and it doesn’t matter the age………..

Currents score 8

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tafnut

@metro18 @CalSurfer Cal, if you go surfing, and then tee it up for 18, is that your version of surf and turf?

Current score 5

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hedgehopper 16 April

funny-bacon-burger-and-a-diet-coke1Well, I’m going to be like that West Coast burger chain…or EMCs love technique…in and out!  Bye!

Current score 5

EMC2 16 April

@hedgehopperSo, you’re givin’ me one stroke ?      BAH !!

Currents score 5

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PAFGIBGHHDCOOHKMthedgehopper   14 April

I just read through a few of the more recent HOF posts…and I’ve realized what a wonderfully degenerate group we are.

Current score 5

 

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Phil Mickelson

em66

I’ve been to Augusta twice for the Tuesday practice rounds.  The pictures are beautiful, but even the HD TV does not capture the incredible beauty of the course.  My first trip was 2004 and we entered the grounds and walked up to the first fairway.  I looked down at the grass and the fairway and it was all I could do to not cry.  I turned and looked up the fairway and coming off the tee was Phil….he was grinning as usual and nodded to us as he walked by.  On Sunday he won his first green jacket.  I will never, never forget that day.  We saw everybody and spent time watching the players skipping the ball off the water on 16…really cool stuff.

Current score 9

 

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metro18  April 10

 

*edit….
after EMC…….Keegan Bradley is the most annoying person on the planet….

Current Score 5images

EMC2 April 10

@metro18

You know what….I’ve never been first in anything !!        Please adjust that claim to read, ‘After EMC, Keegan Bradley…..’

Thank you.

Current score 5

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RBC+Canadian+Open+Round+Three+4nqLlceuqxql

 

opinion8ed  April 10

@mx2  Matzuyamahama shot 80? I thought Metro said he was “the next”. He’s no Anthony Kim

Current score 6

 

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UKWendy  April 7

Well today didn’t exactly go as planned.  Turned up at our clubhouse for a lift to play at Royal Winchester for the first time and it was pouring.images (1)

Friend said no way was she playing in that stuff, so I didn’t even bother to transfer my golf gear into her car.  Went along to Winchester anyway as it was a coffee morning with lots of things for sale (not necessarily golf-related).    Rain stopped and all the Wickham ladies, ‘cept me, went out to play.  Ha!   They quit after 6 holes in torrential wind and rain (very hilly course) and greens under water.  I, meanwhile, ate a nice piece of chocolate cake, drank 2 coffees, bought some bibs & bobs from the coffee morning sale but then  spent an absolute fortune in the pro-shop.  Tempted to hide the shopping bags on return home, but brazened it out.  Weather forecast much better for Centenary Foursomes tomorrow which I’m playing with Susie, and even better for  Wednesday when I’m caddying for her in her interclub match. Go Susie!!

 

Current score 6

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billycavon  April 6crazy_7a133d_738370

Congrats to Golf for the win.  Congrats to Goo for taking the club house lead from (you bastard….:) ).  And for the 2nd week in a row I finish behind EMC.   What the hell is up with that????   I’m starting to develop a complex.

 

Current score 6

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tafnut April 6

@billycavon2  Considering EMC won the previous 2 weeks, you have now finished behind him THREE weeks in a row.

billycavon2   April 6

@tafnut @billycavon2  Thanks taf for setting the record straight (asshole!)….:). 

Current score 6

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tafnut April 12

As much as it galls me to see Cal win any tournament, let alone the Masters, I hope Spieth wins this thing.  I love his composure and conduct, especially at his age.

Current score 5

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WAMO  April 12

I was going to brag about my wife’s connection to the Masters – a school mate caddied for Russel Henley when he won the Sony Open in Hawaii in 2013 – but it appears Russel has a different caddie now.

EMC2  April 12

@WAMO

My sister’s neighbor’s poolboy’s truck once belonged to Frank Lloyd Wright’s sister’s poolboy.     So, match THAT !

Current score 5

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images (2)

 

metro18   April 11

I’m watching the replay of yesterday. Lord that drive on 18 looks tighter than EMC’s wallet.Edit

Current score 5

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metro18 April 11

golf2day @CalSurfer @metro18  The surf here is as flat as Paris Hilton or EMC’s brain waves… take your pick.

Currents score 5

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GoChevyGo

 

I want to share a non golf related event, as small as it may seem, was unexpected and really touched my heart. I have two children, my son Nick is 25 and a navy vet, and my daughter Dana is 24 and finishing her degree in education. My daughter has always been the thoughtful one who has given gifts that I still have to this day because they were so thoughtful and touching. But yesterday out of the blue, my son posted this on facebook. I know it’s not an actual gift but it is still one of the best I’ve ever received.

“I’m not sure if I’ve ever said it but I’m proud that Bruno Nanni is my father and I just want you to know that you did a fine job raising your children.”

I guess I accidentally did something right.

 

Currents core 5

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WAMO   

JJ…it doesn’t bother me that you picked Phil again.

It bothers me that you did it while you were naked.

current score 5

 

 

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EMC2   

@metro18 @EMC2 @tugoo @golf2day

He doesn’t like me either…

Hell, Golf, Tugoo, MX, and doc……let me look in the mirror ?

Thank God for Wamo and JJ.

 

Current score 5

 

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WAMO  April 12

@2opinion8ed @tugoo @WAMOimages (4)

If EMC gave a damn about me he would move further away from me so he could be up to see me in the mornings…..?

WTH?

 

Current score 5

 

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imageWAMO  April 9

@GoChevyGo @2opinion8ed @metro18

Never…NEVER…take LSD before you play.  It ALL looks like that….even the greens.

Currents score

 

 

 

________________________________

a27becfc

 

 

GoChevyGo  April 8

@golf2day @GoChevyGo We don’t play around here this week. All courses charge at least double the normal rate and are packed.

golf2day   April 8

 

@GoChevyGo @golf2day now you can call yourself a local.  dadgummit

Current score 5

 

 

 

 

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tugoo  April 7

@EMC2 @metro18 And Nicklaus’ baggage included???? Trophies?

Currents score 5

 

 

 

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GoChevyGo  April 9

Ah yes, Masters week. This is my 3rd Masters since moving to the south. People who live around here usually plan vacations around this time so they don’t have to contend with the insane traffic. Certain roads are closed at times and you have to know where not to go, as much as where to go. All local businesses bump up their prices 300% or more. A hotel room that would normally cost 100 bucks is 350. We don’t play golf this week because courses that we normally play for 25-35 are well over 70. People who have lived here their whole lives hate the Masters as much as they love it. Those that have no interest in golf consider it a nuisance and I have heard tales of people renting out their houses for 3-5K for the week while they are out of town.

Now for me… I have tried entering my name for tickets through the lottery they have. They didn’t have one this year that I know of so, so much for that. I’ve been told to hang out outside the gate and wait for people to leave and ask for their passes. I just don’t feel comfortable doing that to be honest. I’m not much for begging, contrary to popular belief. I ask around to see if people have extras and even try talking to ex-girlfriends who have claimed that they can get tickets from people they know. I guess I shouldn’t have ended those relationships when I did. I am sure I’ll run into some tickets sooner or later. I plan on living here a while so it’s bound to happen.

I am curious to see if the terrible ice storm we had did much damage to the course. The Eisenhower tree is gone in case y’all didn’t know that. Not that it has been much of an obstacle in the last 10 years or so with the way these guys hit the ball nowadays. I know it will be pristine and beautiful, as beautiful as any course in the world. It has always been a visual spectacle on TV. I will get there sooner or later.images (7)

 

Currents score 5
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golf2day

 

 

@billycavon2 Chevy needs to get there this year.  I’m telling ya Bruno, go see the par 3 contest!

Currents score 5

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Tugoo 6 April 2014

iron my shirt bNOW, we get to watch the Spring Ritual….the Masters. I, like many others, particularly those from the south, wait all winter for this event. And for all who criticize the rich and powerful who rule Augusta, I hope you watched the Drive, Chip and Putt finals competition by the kids this AM at Augusta National. What a treat to see kids of all color, race and sex along with their parents having fun on TV.

Wonder what Martha will bitch about now…………

current score 7

 

 

 

 

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docmike75 6 April 2014

Nice pickin’ G2…..

golf2day 6 April 2014

@docmike75 thanks, the first real chance to take advantage of the new format, could have subbed Lexi for anyone but Wie and come out ahead.

Current score 5

 

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UKWendy 6 April 2014

 

Taking 10 to put my clubs in the car ready for play at Royal Winchester tomorrow.  Forecast not good, but hope to get 9 holes  in – if not a cup of coffee and a bacon sarnie will have to suffice.
Sir IS getting fed up with being a golf widower;  I walked 9 holes on Monday, played Monthly Medal Tuesday, played matches at Cottesmore on Wednesday & Thursday, and caddied for Sue for 19 holes on Friday!!   Tomorrow we’re playing a friendly at Royal Winchester, partnering Sue in the Centenary Foursomes on Tuesday, caddying for Sue again on Wednesday.  Think I’d better not commit to a Friday Friendly.  

 

current score 5

 

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Maxwell1  5 April 2014 funny-pictures-auto-406634 (1)

@EMC2
I tried to deposit some genius to my bank account but I couldn’t come up the minimum required amount.

Current score 5

 

 

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UKjtAPLXSraaNwtTc2da_user2_pic171_1243180377CalSurfer 

Ok………one parting shot for EMC and 8………..wasn’t gonna do it, but since the subject matter has included firm abs, and 6 pointers how to reduce your golf game, I will give you a pointer on how to do a bottom turn……………HA!

Current score 5

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tafnut 

@Maxwell1 @metro18 @2opinion8ed @tafnut  Has anyone noticed how the intelligence level has increased in the TH since EMC and Cal left?

Current score 5

Maxwell1  Current score 5

Hedge @metro18 @2opinion8ed@tafnut 5 April 2014 metro once got a standing ovulation!

Current score 5

 

 

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Tafnut 2 April 2014

2 Slingers still have to make their picks, but here is my weekly analysis.  I use the term “weekly” liberally, because this might be the first time I have done it this year.  Maybe it’s because it is a Major.  Anyway, here goes.  My analysis does not include alternates
The picks seem to be rather widespread with no clear, obvious consensus.  Kerr received the most 1st place votes with 4, but only garnered a grand total of 8.  Webb, Park and Lewis all received 3 1st place votes.  Park managed to get 10 overall and Lewis is the favorite with 13.
With 80 picks in, nobody seems too impressed with Feng.  The #7 in the RR, who already has one Major on her resume, collected just a single vote, that from GGS.  And the #6, Ryu, who also has a Major under her belt, collected just 2 picks.  Meanwhile, #38, Michelle Wie received 4, including one to win.
The lowest selection came from GGS, with #49 Lincicome.
Golf has the distinction of only selecting one golfer within the Top 20 in the RR.  His other three come in at 21, 29 and 38.  I hope you do well.  What?  No Dori Carter?
One rather obvious fact is our opinion of the European contingency.  With Petterssen out, the only European golfers to collect any votes are Nordqvist and Muñoz.  No Gal.  No Masson.  No Hedwall.  No Recari.  No Icher.???????????????????????????????????????
The Americans are playing extremely well this year, so I can’t blame the Slingers who picked them.  It seems like every one of them, except for maybe Stanford, is playing lights out.  Still, Asians have won 16 of the last 25 Majors.
Okay, bedtime for Bonzo.  Good luck to all, including Cal, who must’ve hit his head on a pier judging from his picks.

Current score 5

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Metro 1 April 2014

GYdNWi84RmCn1vTWo55I_563500_331467136998910_1307233909_n

 

Current score 5

 

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Metro 27 March 2014GIFSec.com

Whilst strolling round the Harbour this morning about 11 am. I noticed a Muslim extremist slip from the quayside and fall into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying.
If he didn’t get help he’d surely drown.
Being a responsible British citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress,
I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Service.
It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet responded.
I’m starting to think I wasted four stamps.

Current score 8

 

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tugoo 26 March 2014images (3)

Doc’s total shows Lewis at -8 and my line shows her at -2. Same Lewis??? However, Doc and Metro have played golf together so they may have some unusual scoring methods…eh?

Current Score 7

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tugoo

funny-picture-what-happens-at-grandmas-stays-at-grandmas-funny-babySome Tuesday evening humor for all of you fine folks…eh?
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?”Breast-fed,” she replied.”Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.She did.He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said,
“No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.””I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came

Current score 7

 

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Phugg 26 March 2014chirac_white_flag

 

@EMC2 @Phugg@tugoo@Maxwell1@metro18
..like french guns. In perfect condition because they have never been used.  Sorry Wendy….

Current score 6

Maxwell1 26 March 2014

@tugoo @Phugg@metro18

In my neck of the woods, I played first chair spoons and drove a 48 Willy’s jeep.  Boy, was I a girl magnet then.

Current score 5

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Maxwell1 29 March 2014

Some slingers’ picks are Ko-dependent and need Wie bit of help

Current score 5

 

 

 

 

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nsuWbhmlQXOKE2NKSKch_slide_343118_3557526_freeMaxwell1

Metro’s parrot pic has me thinking about taking up finger painting, again.

Current score 5

metro18 29 Match 2014

This is a parrot – right? Look again…. very closely

 

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Current score 5

 

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WAMO 

The Most Interesting Man in the World
I don’t always post in the Treehouse
But when I do
I do it naked.

Current score 5

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Opionated  March 2014

Sneds is going to give a group of hackers a new golf bag & everything in it to the one who can pitch it over the bag & gets it closest. Watson shows up, Snedeker says, “8 time Major winners not eliglble”. Watson calls him Sneeeedeker & walks away. Too funny!!

Current score 5

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@2opinion8ed @EMC2 @GoChevyGo  March 25 2914

You sound like a woman.        I remember his age because Aunt Ethel had surgery 4 days after Uncle Fred lost his bowling ball when it fell out of his ’66 Dodge on that dirt road ……..

Current score 6

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tugoo  

 

moving-house-04-06-11On a subject unrelated to golf or smartass, which this board seems to have in regularity, I must go as the first stage of the movers are on the way. We have sold one place, moving some stuff into storage today, and then a week from tomorrow moving the rest of the stuff into our other joint while waiting for it to sell. I am sooooo tired of moving!!

Have a great one all!! MY PICKS ARE IN!!!!

Current score 5

 

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Tugoo March 24 2014

Metro referenced this above and much will be said about the ladies following the men at this year’s US Open. I know it is a few months away but it has the potential to become a HUGE point of discussion and cussing. It will be in June on Bermuda greens which should be quite thin after one of the coldest winters in history in NC (followed by what is shaping up to be a late spring). There will be areas of “winter kill” (dead areas) all over the golf course and will not show until the Bermuda comes out of dormancy and begins to grow. For those of you who do not know, a night time temp of at least 55* is required for Bermuda grass to grow. The greens are small to begin with and are like upside down saucers with very small actual playing surface. The USGA will make them as fast as possible and hard as a brick for the men.
All of this does not bode well, forget all of the divots in the fairways, for the ladies version to be played the following week. Pinehurst is a special place for many, me in particular as it is my birthplace, but I don’t feel the ladies will be getting a fair shake nor a course that is up to major standards, particularly after a 100,000? spectators have trampled over the course the prior week.
These two events will be one of the largest challenges the USGA Agronomy section has ever faced.

Current score 5

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2opinion8ed 20 March 2014DavidFeherty5

Some of Feherty’s better quotes:

Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.” 

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”
Jim Furyk’s swing “looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”
Describing VJ Singh’s prodigious practice regime – “VJ hits more balls than Elton John’s chin.”
“That’s a great shot with that swing.”
“It’s OK – the bunker stopped it.”(My favorite.)
At Augusta 2011 – “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.”
“That was a great shot – if they’d have put the pin there today.”
“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
“That green appears smaller than a Pygmy’s nipple”. 

Current score 8

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Maxwell1 19 March 20141hu29mwra1ygmz

 

Dear Diary, year 60, still no word from Publisher’s Clearing House.  I am beginning to worry that something has happened to Ed McMann.  And the fact that I have moved over thirty times since I returned my winning number has got me thinking.  What if the people who were processing my change of address notices have retired?

Current score 6

 

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tafnut

@2opinion8ed  Holmes had brain surgery?  Didn’t know that.  And I was wondering the other day what ever happened to Anthony Kim.  He had some hand injuries, but he fell off the planet.  Is he even playing?

EMC2 22 March 2014

@tafnut @2opinion8ed

Reincarnated as Matsuyama……get with it boy !!

Current score 7

{1520A7A0-D385-4C93-99C3-6F31928EEDE0}matsuyama_ishikawa_split_610

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metro18 19 March 2014

One for the US contingent

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. 2429597838_011_little_johnnyWhen Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of shit!”

Current score 5

 

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radar60 22 March 2014
Oh and Maxwell, I’m not a girl!

 golf2day22 March 2014 @radar60 just spoiled your chance to play the red tees

 

Current score 5

 

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tugoo 18 March 2014

 

Funniest-Divorce-Lawyer-Names

A little Monday morning humor for all of you who just love Lawyers (joke).

If you ever testify in court, you might hope to be as sharp as this policeman.He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility ……

Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’
A: ‘No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’

Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’
A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’

Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’

Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’
A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’

Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’
A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’

Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’
A: ‘Yes, sir.’

Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’
A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year’s ‘Best Comeback’ line — and we think he’ll win.

 

Current score 5

 

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tafnutford_circle_problem

@EMC2 There!  I gave you a star.  Are you happy?  I wonder,  can we train this coyote to do tricks.  Roll over?  Play dead?  And then give him a star when he does it?

EMC2 20 March 2014

No…..Ford isn’t here.

Current score 5

 

 

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il_340x270.466770221_jqnfPhugg  21 March 2014

Gotta run. I have an exciting weekend planned. Fast cars and beautiful women….

 I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures of both.

 

Current score 5

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Tugoo 11 March 3024

Read the header and the prose is most worthy and an enjoyable read. As I said in a prior post what a shame that money or fame dictates what courses the US Tour plays. The tour pros, according to a report on GC this AM, consider this to be a top 5 track among those they play ALL year, not just Florida.

Forgive me but I have a few historical connections with Innisbrook so I am a little prejudice. Mike Souchak, former tour player who held the 72 hole scoring record for a number of years on tour, was the first professional at Innisbrook and helped with the development of the project. He was the first tour player I ever met in my life and I was a star struck kid when he shook my hand. He was sponsored on tour by the father of a high school golf teammate of mine and through him we met. In addition, I grew up playing golf at the Duke University course
Souchak brought Jay Overton to Innisbrook to become it’s Director of Golf. Jay and I competed against each other in high school and astonishingly enough, have been confused for one another on occasion. Jay also attempted to play the PGA Tour from time to time with minimal success. Jay and Mike were Duke graduates, the only negatives in their life, resulting in a life long bond. Mike was one of only two dual sport All Americans at Duke. HIs being football and golf while the other guy, Dick Groat, played baseball (Pirate and Cardinal fans will remember) and basketball. Mike could kill it off of the tee in an era when others were considered long at 240.

Hope you enjoyed the flashback!

Current score 5

 

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GoChevyGo12 March 2014

@EMC2 @GoChevyGo @metro18 Speaking of Ellie. We went for a ride yesterday and she is all daredevil dog now. She likes to stand up and puts her paws on my back as she looks over my shoulder now. She is still secure but, is really enjoying being my little biker bitch.

Current score 5

Dq8VoLJSCtNo1utmESQ3_20140308_150206

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tugoo 4 March 2014

Monday evening humor for those who may need it:

Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!North-Korea-Rocket-Launch-Fails

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo —

“Defrost the chicken!” (True Story)

 

Current score 7

 

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tugoo @EMC2 @tugoo@GoChevyGo@golf2day@metro18 No smokies, cigs or mountains, for our permanent home. We are moving to the COAST, where the ocean is, for our home.

Now that’s fixed…whew!

 

pic

 

Currents score 5

 

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metro18 moderator 8 March

 

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads.

Current score 7

 

 

hedgehopper

funny-hippo-vTo play off of your quote above…Three Native American maidens desired to have children. One made love on a buffalo hide, one made love on a wolf hide, and the last made love on a hippo hide. After nine months the maidens on the buffalo and wolf hides each had a child.  The maiden on the hippo hide had twins. This proves that the sum of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

Current score 6

 

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docmike75

 

drLid8RVRlaGhF648cmH_photo golf puppy

Waiting patiently for the snow to melt….

Current score 6

 

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funny-pictures-dishwasher-dogEMC2

@GoChevyGo @hedgehopper @susiegolf

At least Susie has a dishwasher.      Metro has a Filipino.

 

 

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susiegolf

 

Hi Chevy (and anyone else interested). How very rude of me! I popped in sometime yesterday and didn’t realise that you had been talking to me – sincere apologies.Life has been a bit manic lately  chasing around after my elderly aunt, also my hubby has the flu ( not man flu but proper) and is quite poorly which means I have to do sooo much more at home – like cooking and loading the dishwasher. I did play 9 holes of golf yesterday and was rubbish so the less said the better. I am out  on Friday for our monthly mixed team Texas scramble. The weather is looking reasonable so I am hoping for some prize winnings (about £5!). The best ever bit of news however is that I am going to be a granny! I have known for a few weeks but today was the first scan so its now official. I’ll have to start knitting bootees.

Current score 5

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GoChevyGo

Hey met I’ve been a slinger for nearly 3 years now. Do I get  a plaque or something?

metro18 moderator@GoChevyGo  Go see your dentist. He should be able to help

Current score 5

 

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funny-pictures-your-cat-orders-a-cheeseburgerhedgehopper

@EMC2 @UKWendy  no it’s not! It’s your failed attempt at a grilled cheeseburger!

Current score 5

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metro18 moderator

I’m off to the Pong to watch the girls. Have a good one all – I will 🙂

Current score 6

 

 

 

 

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YwytHMixRdNH48WZOpob_559446_554746657913656_453894939_nmetro18 moderator

Made me miss Wam….

Current score 6

 

 

 

 

 

tugoo

@GoChevyGo @tugoo@metro18 My posts take quite awhile as I have to Google most of my thoughts to make sure there are words for those thoughts.googlewhacking2

current score 6

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UKWendy

monkey-bartender1@2opinion8ed   Well, I had a lovely message from someone from the golf club.  HE said – “You’re obviously not a hardened drinker (like Susie) as we know how to fall”    Barman – bring me another of those vodka shots – por favor!

Current score 5

tafnut

@2opinion8ed @EMC2 @golf2day I remember that, too.  That was Belen Mozo.  I never forget a uh uh umm. ….  a face?

Current score 5

____________billycavon2

Hollis and I went to Lowe’s today…and low and behold who do we run into?  The smelly old coyote!  That’s right Mr. Michael Lauer (EMC) in the flesh!  We both looked at each other dumbfounded for about 20 sec’s.  Billy?  Mikey?  Working on our next golfing event.  One of my most favorite people on the planet.  Love you like a brother Mikey!!!!

Current score 5

 

 

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radar60

So here is how my day went with my Dutch visitors yesterday. In Pismo beach there is a park with big Eucalyptus tree where millions and millions of Monarch butterflies overwinter from Nov to Feb, a must see.

Although I honestly think that it’s still February all the butterflies are gone, back to Canada I suppose. The visit to the Elephant seals went as planned, next stop Hearst Castle. I didn’t book tickets ahead of time because the last time I was there weren’t many people and you could easily just buy the tickets upon arrival. So when I drove up to visitor center I already had an ” Oh Shit” moment, never seen so many bloody cars in the parking lot. And of course all of the tickets for the day were sold out. So instead we went cruising the piers and the beaches looking to spot whales or sharks and we saw the grand total of zero.

I had dinner booked at Steamers in Pismo with a table at the window to close off the day with a spectacular meal and an even more spectacular sunset over the ocean. Of course yesterday was like only the 3rd day since June that the sun didn’t show it’s face here so that was the final letdown on a day that totally didn’t go as planned.

My reputation as a travel guide extraordinaire suffered greatly yesterday.

Current score 5

 

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Doc’s new pup Feb 16 2014

UTcrJpDhTNeUTPj6rwFK_photo

Current score 5

 

hedgehopper 28 January 2014 9aa979190f86cebac1817e140fa03aed3e3a3835de283c22d44a2adea3aa4f5f

My picks are in, your royal hiney!

GoChevyGo

@hedgehopper You put your picks in her royal hiney? Hedge!!!

 

____________________

23 January 2014

More from JJ’s Anna. Good stuff Anna!
“Now here’s another one because there’s a story that goes with both pics.

Scott and Patrick Reed were room mates a Tennessee Tech and now they’ve won back-to-back weeks on the PGA.

The guy with Scott in this picture is Brent Long and caddied for Scott last year. Scott’s new caddy is Frank Williams who was on Stewart Cink’s bag for years.

If you’re a fan of TGC show, Big Break, you’ll recognize him. He was on Big Break Mexico last season and made it to the quarter finals.

Another cool thing about Scott is the fact that his home course is/was The Black Diamond in North Carolina and tugoo has probably played it a time or two.

Golf’s a small world sometimes, eh  🙂

Current score 6

023

 

 

2opinion8ed26 January 2014

@em66 @radar60 @EMC2 I’d watch ping pong if they had asses like that & played in black see through panties.

 

________________

 

 

EMC in response to EM

 

26 January 2014EM – Didn’t know if you were still here.  It was great, I can’t wait to get on the course.  He said all the things that we have talked about…..weight forward, swing with arms and shoulders, ball back in stance…all the things that I had been trying to do.  The reason I couldn’t do it was because I was turning my hips.  He said to keep the lower body completely still.  It worked.  You might want to try it.  Nobody ever said to keep the lower body quiet……I’m pumped. 

EMC
My lower body is always quiet…!

 

Current score 5

 

 

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maxwell  Jan 14 2014

 

henrik-stenson-415x418Will Stenson return to near-god form or is he playing himself back into shape?  Will Rory try not to embarrass himself on his first match since his engagement?  Will Phil shine in the limelight as a poster boy for the heavily tax burdened wealthy for busting a move out of California?  Will Sergio make this year one that moves him into the top 5 players in the world?  Will Tugoo and family find a home in Toothville, SC before the striped bass stop running?  Will my toaster pop up only when the toast is done?
Where else but the TH to feel the drama?  And you think you don’t have a life?  Ha!

Current score 5

6a00d83451c29169e2011168973198970c

 

 

Tugoo 18 December 2013

@GoChevyGo@metro18@tugoo chevy…if bull shit was music you would be a brass band!!

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Easy 27th November 2013

 

Hello all. To all those across the pond, have a great Thanksgiving day. I used to do that when I was there, the last one was 1970. I like chicken better than turkey anyway 🙂

Winter is here in the northern hemosphere, but golf goes on. The weather here in the UK is still ok for a good knock. Played my place today, tomorrow I’m playing Weatherby GC, just 13 miles from my house here in York. All these years, I’ve played about 350 courses and never this one on my doorstep. I’ll put that right tomorrow. Winter isn’t all that bad, the golf Down Under is brilliant to watch. It’s always good to see them on those great courses. It’s also worth remembering, there is less golf to talk about in blogs, but it’ll soon be January and the new season proper. Everyone needs a break from it now and then.scan0001

Good to see that Metro is playing again. I can say 8 months after my shoulder op, I’m hitting the ball better than I have in the last 10 years, shot 77 today. I only say this to Met and others who have needed fixing, better times are ahead. I’m even back in the gym again and plan to get back to the wieght I was in my prime. It’s going well and I would definatly recommend it, I’m 56 soon and starting to feel a bit younger again. If any of you have a go, I’m sure you will feel better and even gain a few yards  ? 🙂

If you lot can stomach it, I’m hoping to spend more time here and do the odd post on a topic. I miss those from you all, enjoyed them all. EMC’s mining adventure stood out for me, in particular. I’m trying to remember if 8ed has ever done a topic, I can’t remember. mate, as you don’t play the famous tracks much, how about one on your home course ? I’d like that very much please :). I have a few things to do next year, hopefully I’ll do a post on some of them. Getting a kayack in March and plan a few river trips, I’ll take some great pictures hopefully.

Congrats to Radar for winning the cup too. Keep it in Europe, lol. Even if you have defected across the pond.:)

However many new faces come in here, I’d just like to say to the hard core Slingers , you’re a great bunch of people and so long as Met is willing to keep it all going, it will carry on. Please don’t think I didn’t want to be here, my life has been a very turbulant one the last few years and being away was the best thing to do while I get to grips with it all. It ain’t easy ! But things are a bit better so here I am, back to annoy you if you all don’t mind too much .

Finally POY honours for me go to Adam Scott, who by winning the Masters, smashed down a big barrier for Aussies the same way Seve did for Europeans when he won the Green Jacket for the first time in 1980. After Greg Norman’s so many near misses, it was a sweet moment for Australian golf. Even though I hate that putter, he to me has cemented it but winning like he has these last few weeks in Australia. I only hope he putts as well with a proper putter in a few years, he seems a great bloke and i wish him well. Goof looking bastard, lol.

Cheers

Current score 6

 

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hedgehopper 24 November 2013

Playing-Golf-Funny-Wedding-Blooper

 

.

 

 

As the bride was escorted down the aisle she noticed her groom waiting for her with his golf clubs by his side. “What are you doing?” she asked. “This isn’t going to take all day is it?” he replied.

 

Current score 5

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.

2opinion8ed

Natilie Gulbis is tied for the lead in Naples?
Rumor has it she’s leading in Nipples by a long shot

Current Score 5

 

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radar60 24 November 2013

So….I played 9 with my son on the little par 3 course. I hit my first Tee shot pretty flush , just short of the green and proceed to make a par. He starts with a double…this is looking good.

Over the next 7 holes I don’t hit one green and as a matter a fact I even skanked a few of them . 4 bogeys and 3 doubles. I’m 2 strokes down with one to play. I’ve only lost to the kid once…..ever.happy-golfer-jumping

The last hole is the longest one at 190 yards, tee shot was ok but short. My chip was great , I have a 6 footer for par left. Son misses his bogey and he has a double. If I sink it I squeak out a tie. ………I hit it……perfect line…….perfect speed………dead center.

Is a 37 something to brag about??………Nooooooooooo……but hitting a clutch putt like that???….yup……..gotta love it.

 

Currents Score 5

 

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radar60 23 November 

images (3)Ha!!!
Fons: morning Mary……..I feel like morning sex….
Mary:   Are you on crack ?
Fons :  How about bacon and eggs then ?
Mary: ok…give me a minute to wake up and make my tea and then I’ll make you some
All I can say…man I’m good !!!Current score 5

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tafnut 18 November 2013dutch woman

Radar, a little late but C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S ! ! 2013 Slinger Slinger Head Honcho!

Tugoo, nice showing. And remember, if for any reason, Radar cannot fulfill his obligations as 2013 Slinger Champion, you will be crowned 2013 Singapore Slinger Champion. You know, if some seamy photos of a certain Dutchman in a compromising position with a grungy coyote should surface on the internet, then you might be wearing the Slinger tiara

current score 5

 

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em66 12 November

images (1)So, every few weeks the Pastor of the Church would set aside some time to talk to the children, they called it Children’s Church. He would have all the kids come up front and sit on the floor around him. On this particular Sunday the Pastor was going to talk about the Resurrection. He started by asking the kids if they knew anything about the Resurrection. It was quiet and finally one little boy raised his hand. The pastor said “Johnny, can you tell us about the Resurrection?”…..Johnny paused for a moment then said “I don’t know much, but I do know that if it lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor”…….Children’s Church over

current score 5

 

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metro18 25 October 2013

I had to post this. It came off Facebook.

You’re a 19 year old kid. You’re critically wounded and dying in The jungle somewhere in the Central Highlands of Viet Nam . It’s November 11, 1967. LZ (landing zone) X-ray. Your unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense from 100 yards away, that your CO (commanding officer) has ordered the MedEvac helicopters to stop coming in.Paratrooper You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you’re not getting out. Your family is half way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day. Then – over the machine gun noise – you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter. You look up to see a Huey coming in. But.. It doesn’t seem real because no MedEvac markings are on it. Captain Ed Freeman is coming in for you. He’s not MedEvac so it’s not his job, but he heard the radio call and decided he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway. Even after the MedEvacs were ordered not to come. He’s coming anyway. And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 3 of you at a time on board.

Vietnam War Mekong Delta

Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses and safety. And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!! Until all the wounded were out. No one knew until the mission was over that the Captain had been hit 4 times in the legs and left arm. He took 29 of you and your buddies out that day. Some would not have made it without the Captain and his Huey. Medal of Honor Recipient, Captain Ed Freeman, United States Air Force, died last Wednesday at the age of 70, in Boise , Idaho May God Bless and Rest His Soul. I bet you didn’t hear about this hero’s passing, but we’ve sure seen a whole bunch about Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods and the bickering of congress over Health Reform. Medal of Honor Winner Captain Ed Freeman Shame on the media !!!

images (6)

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Radar 12 October 2013

So , my bro is visiting from Holland. He looks like John Daly and he has the same hobbies…booze, smoking and women ( in his dreams). In his world golf is for the rich and famous and boring old farts like me.

So I talked him into finally doing something sophisticated and I got him to play 9 holes on the little par 3 in town. First time ever he played. And he hits ALL his tee shots, they only went 70 -80 yards but they all went straight. And his putts went straight and he sank a 15 footer !! I was shocked.photo

The last time I went out I played shitty , didn’t hit one green and ended up with a 43 getting my ass kicked by my son with a 37 in the process. And guess what John Daly II shoots on his first time ever with a club in his hand………..right….a 43.score

As for my own game, hit 5 of 9 greens, had 6 pars and 3 bogeys and with a score of 30 I beat my previous best on that course by 3 strokes. If my brother never plays again at least he got to watch history.

I send a few pics to Metro, maybe she can add them to the story.

 

Current score 5

 

 

 

 

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2opinion8ed 3 hours agofunny-sports-pictures-tiger-woods-too-late
That he is. But, how many people actually achieve the goals they set as a 7 year old? Ridiculously difficult quest to hold on to.

We really shouldn’t judge his success & failure based upon a 7 year old’s dream. He surely can, but we shouldn’t.

Actual human beings only strive to do their best.

If ANY OTHER golfer had 5 wins this year, & Tiger was one of those who had 2 wins, 1 a Major….there wouldn’t have been a single word written about who would be voted POY (5 wins is a career for 90% of those who play for pay) But, Tiger wrote checks as a kid that we expect him to cash 30 years later. We hold him to a different standard.

Current score 5

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Tugoo 27 Septmeber 2013funny-pictures-cat-is-not-stalking-properly

@hedgehopper Glad to see Mikey is here and OK…just saw a headline “Alleged LPGA Stalker Arrested”. One never knows….just sayin’.Edit

Current score 8
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wamo 27 September 2013
@EMC2 @UKWendy

EMC…dream 4some? No Wamo?

Well kiss my ass!

Current score 5
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em66 26 September 2013

-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’ The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. judge judy-zip itYes, I know him.’ The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.

 

current score 11 – Ties the record!!!

 

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UKWendy 26 September 2013

@em66 Actually I feel a little bit guilty now. There’s a lady at our club I’ve moaned about on here ad infinitum because she can’t break 140 but keeps getting paired with me. I’m playing with her tomorrow in a Texas Scramble and on Tuesday she came up to me and said “You poor thing, you’ve got me AGAIN”. You know that moment when you know you have to lie through your teeth – which of course I did?!

Current score 9
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EMC2 24 September 2013easterbbq

@GoChevyGo @hedgehopper

Seriously. Some (most) of the best times I’ve ever had were with, or at the expense of men. Gut wrenching laughter !! I’m laughing now, thinking about some of the ridiculous shit pulled on me, or my buddies. Only guys can do that…! Cooking for guys is absolute heaven. As long as the food isn’t moving, and it’s relatively warm….it’s good to go ! No complaints. And then the beer and booze. HA !! Man ? Time does fly, doesn’t it ??

OK……sex in a bottle isn’t kosher but, all in all……this kid needs men (OK…and women).

Who brought this up ?

Current score 5
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EMC2 23 September 2013irony-kkk-black-hospital-demotivational
@GoChevyGo @EMC2 @billycavon2 @2opinion8ed

I thought NASCAR and KKK were the same ?

GoChevyGo
GoChevyGo 1 hour ago
@EMC2 @GoChevyGo @billycavon2 @2opinion8ed No, they are close though. One is redneck racers and the other is redneck racists.

Current score 5

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the-preacher-is-sick-of-your-shit-53977

2opinion8ed 21 September 2013
My event is scratched this morning. Lots of rain.
Sneeeed a kur & Tiger…..SUCK
I knew you’d beat me, Hedge. I could feel the whole Congregation praying for it.

wamo 21 September 2013
@2opinion8ed

Well…what with you being the antichrist and all…

Current score 5

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________________
Taf September 201315d50_130529153534-golf-god-caddy-horizontal-gallery

Charlie and Bob were two 90-year-old men who had been friends since their childhood days.  When it was clear that Charlie was dying, Bob visited him every day.  One day, Bob said, “Charlie, we have been friends all of our lives, and we have been playing golf together since we were 10 years old.  Can you do me one favor?  When you get into heaven, somehow you must let me know if there is golf up there.”  Charlie looked up from his deathbed and replied, “Bob, you have been my best friend all these years.  If there is any way at all, I will do this favor for you.”  Shortly after that, Charlie passed away.  A few nights later, Bob was awakened in the middle of the night by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out, “Bob, Bob.”  Bob sat up, startled. “Who is it?  Who is there?”  “Bob, it’s me, Charlie.”  “You’re not Charlie.  Charlie passed away,” said Bob.  “I’m telling you, Bob, it’s me, Charlie”, the voice insisted.  “Well then, where are you?” asked Bob.  “I am in heaven” said Charlie.  “And I have some really good news and some not so good news.”  Bob said, “tell me the good news first.”  “The good news,” Charlie said, “is that there IS golf in heaven.  Better yet, all of our old high school and college buddies who died before us are here, too.  Better yet, we are all young again.  And even better still, it is always springtime, but no rain.  The courses are beautiful.  The greens perfectly manicured.  And we play all the time.”  “That is fantastic,” said Bob.  “That is beyond my wildest dreams.  So, what’s the bad news?”  Charlie replied, “you have an 8:00 AM tee time Wednesday.

Current score 11 …. and that is a record!!!

 

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wamo 12 September 2013
I came.a_fox_scratching_his_ass_on_a_conveyor_belt

I saw.

I scratched my ass.
Current score 6

Maxwell1 12 September 2013
@wamo

Do you mean,

You saw. You scratched your ass. You came. ?

Just hope you cleaned up after yourself. Safe Self-Sex, is so underrated.

Current score 5
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GoChevyGo 11 September 2013

Twas the day before the the dreaded double

and all through the tree house

not a slinger was slinging

not even that mouse (wamo)

The Coyote was out following the sun

While met and her moggies were all having fun

Chevy was posting after eating his lunch

But no one was listening from this motley bunch

Then all of a sudden there came such a clatter

Was it 8ed or Billy, or Tugoo for that matter?

No, not a soul just a false alarm

So back to work for dear Chevy

With his wit and his charm.

Current score 5

________________

tp://www.singaporeslingerstour.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/funny_wife_beer_heavy.jpg”>funny_wife_beer_heavyGoChevyGo 11 SEPTEMBER 2013

Just a little anecdote about relationships…

Everyone says they want someone who is honest. They say well just tell me the truth, I’ll understand. I have always done my best to be an honest person. I had to learn over time that sometimes tact is more important than honesty.

So be honest, but be tactful. Never be inconsiderate of feelings but don’t lie to spare them. In other words, just keep your mouth shut.

Current score 5

 

 

 

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wamo 10 September 2013

I’ve decided to purchase a used pizza oven and convert it into a putter.

Current score 6
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docmike75 10 September 2013

Well done, Boys ! Really enjoyed your accounting of the events and I hope to get together with all of you for the next event.

One suggestion for ‘goo….melt down that Ping “Doc”. The silver content alone should fund your retirement !

Current score 5

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Tugoo 10 September 2013

What a weekend and we, Wifey and I, enjoyed the guys. BTW, her name is Sharon the sweetest and best partner any male could have. Hell, she puts up with me and takes these guys in stride. She cooked for them, except me doing my best to “burn the burgers”, and sat at a bad angle for the TV while the ball game, Michigan and Notre LAME, (Jim’s name) was playing. I was impressed that she was so tolerant about the football, she loves it, but she made up for it on Sunday. Pro football from noon until bedtime and now we are waiting on the Dead Skins, aka Redskins, her favorite of all, for the Monday Night marathon.

I wish we could meet more of you and we hope to in the future. My biggest take on all of you I have met in person is quite simple, you are all wonderful folks and a joy to be around. Thanks for letting me be a part of all of this and if you are freezing your ass off this winter….come on down to SWFL. We have an empty room in the house….as a matter of fact an empty room and an additional empty house…..so there is room for quite a few. C U in a few!!

Current Score 5
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GoChevyGo 9 September 2013

Well done Tugoo. I’m in for a Florida trip. Hope your back feels better mate!

I feel bad about not mentioning you and you lovely wife’s hospitality. My only excuse is that I wrote while being here at work and had a few distractions along the way. But the food was great, especially the corn. The company was the best part of the whole trip. I enjoyed the discussions and disagreements over what is pass interference and what isn’t.

Current score 5

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EMC2 9 September 2013

Great write up Chevy. I love to read detail….you know, what people really do and say. It gives the write up that extra feeling that is extended to the readers. I’ve taken a few things away from what I’ve heard and read. Golf is Boo Weekley’s brother. Golf catches bait…just like I do (did)….haven’t fished in 25 years. All of you are sandbaggers !

Current score 5

 

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GoChevyGo 9 September 2013

A little insight into our friends…

If you want to get G2 to talk, mention fishing.photo 5 If you want to Get Tugoo to talk, just say hello. If you want to get 8ed to talk, well just try to get him to stop talking, that’s the real trick

Current score 5

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Radar 10 September 2013

Played golf with Cal today in the first of many ” Fruit and Nut” pacific coast Slinger outings. We had a blast …..no mosquitos eating me alive and none of this 110 F BS from Arizona. Pictures to follow.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA About the golf…..we shall not comment on the front nine…but the back nine was much better ,10 better for Cal to be exact and 6 better for me. And I rolled in a birdie putt from 40 maybe 50 feet. And I was fist pumping like Tiger….sweeetttttt !!!!Edit

Current score 8

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metro18 4 September 2013

John Cleese has it about right:

“The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”fawlty-towers-2

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

— John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person.

current score 8

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EMC2 4 Septemberkid_thinkers2

I’m looking at the picks. All the picks. All the Slingers. Talk about parity ? This tourney brings out the very best in picking ! Pure guesswork…!

Current score 5
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CalSurfer 29 August 2013

Cal “INTERVIEW UPDATE”. My boss, who I worked for out of hiring hall for the last 7 months for PGE was one of the 3 men doing the interviews. He asked the questions, the other two took notes on your answers.

PGE breaks their Station Maintenance and Construction into 3 different areas, my boss has the southern sector, and I found out, he actually oversees all 3. As I was leaving and shaking their hands thanking them for their time (basically SUCKING UP-haha), my boss said to me, “THAT WAS A REALLY GREAT INTERVIEW”…….shocked me he’d say that.

That is encouraging, all in God’s hands (always was), now to be patient and see HOW GREAT the interview actually was.

You know the old adage……….nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Current score 7

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Maxwell1 August 28 2013target

@wamo

WallMart was going to put a store in Damascus until they heard there was going to be a Target on every corner.

Current score 7

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Wamo August 29 2013

By the way…regarding the POY argument?

I ate some of that stuff in Hawaii once and it tasted like some tofu crappola to me.

So…no, I don’t like it at all.

Current score 7

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IMG_0181

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Wendy August 26 2013

Just heard the results from the (Mens) Captain’s Day yesterday. I came a respectable 40th out of 94 players, (there were some seriously good golfers out there) and have won a prize as highest placed lady player. Yahoo! Don’t know what it is as I left before the presentations. Playing at a different course tomorrow but might nip along on Wednesday to find out what it is, otherwise will have to wait until Friday’s Texas Scramble. Golf is fun, folks!

Current Score 6

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UKWendy 30 August 2013

Texas Scramble today with a pretty decent team. We came in with gross one under par, net was 60.9 (some complicated thingy with quarter of combined h/c or summat – don’t ask me – I wasn’t doing the card) and we were pretty sure we’d be in the top 3 and thus in the money. Not a bit of it, 2 damn teams came in with 60.4 and one with 59.9. Assume they had higher handicaps, yeah, alright, maybe they just played better too.

On the positive side, Sue and I picked up our prizes from the Captain’s Day played on Sunday. I had a lovely gilet, box of 12 decent balls, a glove, a really nice umbrella and a visor which I donated to the raffle (which always follows the Friday frolics). Sue had the same minus the gilet. Ditto donated the visor. Some of the ladies moan about these prizes, saying either they don’t like the things they’re given, or that they already have the golfie things so don’t want them as prizes. They would prefer gift vouchers. Sue & I however were as chuffed as hell. We insisted on being presented with said prizes, but our attempts at thank you speeches were drowned by catcalls.dictation

On the negative side (not really) I got ragged like mad about the lady who barged in with us at Cams. Everybody knew about it (thanks, Sue) and they kept asking me if I took dictation, or claiming they didn’t recognise me. Beeeetches! My kind of beeeeeetches though.

Current score 5
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Metro 27 August 2013

For you Hedge..

“It all makes sense now… Gay marriage and marijuana being legalised on the same day –
Leviticus 20:13. If a man lays with another man he should be stoned”

Current score 6

images

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Billy August 2013

3 Amigo alert! Sunday 1 September 2013 @ 8:30am the the Wickenburg C.C. Mikey, Fons and Billy…front and freakin’ center! Drivers..use um if you goy um!

Current score 5

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funny-squirrel-drinking-coffee

Maxwell 15 August 2013

If Jordan keeps playing like this, he is going to cause some other players to suffer from a Spieth impediment. Yes, I said that and proud of it! Didn’t have a chance to get through my third brew of coffee today.

Current score 5

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hedgehopper August 15 2013
Just saw this under an article about the world’s oldest man. Not great, but cute:

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
images (22)

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,
“He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.

Current score 8

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tugoo 12 August 2013
@GoChevyGo @wamo I need to go also….our 8th grandchild was born last evening…a little boy weighing in at 8lbs and 10 oz. named Arlo. Sounds like a guitar player in the making…eh? Saw him this AM…he and mom are doing well!!

current score 6

 

tugoo 11 August 2013funny-golf-4

Now that this Mickey Mouse shit called a PGA Major is over we can get to the serious stuff…..chevy and his Redneck Invitational in the Mountains. Better than the Big Break….watching these flatlanders hit shots from some serious non level lies on the course. Pictures will be taken and laughs had by all. See you slackers in a few days….eh?

current score 5

 

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metro18 Jun 25, 2013
@2opinion8ed @metro18 @Easingwold

Dear Longwinded,

Having taken your letter into due consideration, I have forwarded your missive to the committee that oversees all disputes of this nature – We Really Don’t Give A Shit.com. Please be patient whilst awaiting a reply due to the process involved. At We Don’t Give A Shit.com, we strive to do our very best – not to.

Yours Truly,

Really Don’t Care

current score 5

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metro18 6 August 2013
American football meets British soccer. 8 Gets a special mention at the end

Current score 6

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GGS August 1 2013

Something to think about

1.Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary,how would we ever know?

4.If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5.Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6.Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7.Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8.Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9.Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10.Why are they called ” stands” when they are made for sitting?

current score 6

 

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Easingwold June 24 2013
Back from the Arden.

The weather today was much better, just a 15mph wind most of the time. Cloudy and 16 c Yesterday, when we got there, we had heavy showers for our short course round. Played tough.

We played the Arden off the yellows, 6,451, reds, 5,654. No rain. The course was in great shape. From ’93 to ’05 it was a European tour event. Winners include Monty, Bjorn, Lane, Darren Clarke. I have played about 20 championship courses, including this one before. So I’m used to it. But it was a first for Wendy and Scrums and I’m proud of them . Because it was my idea to go there, I was stressed, hoping they would enjoy it all. They deserve credit for putting up with my yakking !

The greens were amazing. I only played on greens this fast once before. I talked to one of the staff after we finished and I told him how good they were. When I asked him what they were on the stimpmetre, he replied 11, maybe 12. For us, that is FAST.

Wendy, Scrums (Dave) and his wife Sue were great company. I’ll post pics/scorecard tomorrow. Write ups by the Brits to follow.

current score 6

 

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wamo June 22 2013
@EMC2 @wamo I didn’t even read it and I still get it….? Ever since the MRI I’m picking up wireless.images (15)

current score 5

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UKWendy 4 hours ago 21 June 213
@Easingwold Hoiking the clubs onto the train to Birmingham tomorrow morning. Scrums & Easing set off at dawn on Sunday. I don’t do dawn on Sundays. As long as Easing has Ollie’s captaincy skills rather than Seve’s, we’ll do fine. I would have brained Seve. Sunday we’re playing against each other (may be best woman win!), Monday we’re a team. Bit like it is on tour then. Really looking forward to it – win or lose, we’re going to have a blast, just as EMC, Radar & Billy did.

current score 6

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EMC2 15 June 2013
Boy….Billy really sucks, doesn’t he ?

current score 5
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Easingwold 5 hours ago 21 June 2013
The Ridem cup 2nd leg is upon us this weekend. This is where Scrums, Wendy and I attempt to beat EMC, Radar and Billy. The fortcast is light showers on Sunday, which is our warm up round on the short course.

Monday, is the big one and it hopefully will be dry. 20 mph winds, as you expect in Britain. I’ll do my best to skipper our side and if I have 10% of Olazabal’s skills ( very debateable) I’ll hope that is enough. Scrums and Wendy are looking forward to it very much, it is to date the biggest venue they have played ( I know they will do well and enjoy this former European tour venue) so give them a hand for trusting me to set it up for them. Yeah, I know, they must be nuts 🙂

Met, I put in some info on the card in the Ridem thread, can you check it out please ? Cheers.

current score 6

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GoChevyGo 18 June 2013

Well I read some of all the jousting of opinions. I liked what everyone had to say. The thing I love about sport is how passionate people are about it. Who was the best? Who is the best? We all have different opinions on that, and I think that all of our perspectives are skewed by bias. One may say the most important thing is how many championships someone has won. One will say it’s points scored. Or major wins vs tour wins or world wide wins vs them all. The greatest golfer of all time may not have won very many events because his career was cut short. or another because he never went pro. Jack Nicklaus, Tiger WoodsWe can say that with the equipment of today, so and so woulda done this or that yet would his wayward shots gone out of bounds instead of just in the rough? There is no definitive way to accurately say who was the best at any one sport overall since sports have been played over a long period of time with different equipment and levels of competition. You have all mentioned many great athletes who we have all admired over the years. I think they are all pretty close, and I have my favorites. I think Jack was the best golfer ever, that Wilt Chamberlain was the best basketball player ever and if he were on those Celtic teams would have as many or more championships that Bill Russell.
Just my two cents worth.

Current score 6
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2opinion8ed 13 June 2013

Sergio left Tiger a and written note in his locker?

I remember doing that myself.

Hey Sergio! That won’t get ya laid! Trust me

current score 5

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EMC2 13 June 2013
@wamo @2opinion8ed

You’re half right…you half wit !

I was banished from FUX after ‘grandstanding’ as EMT. Came back as 3 or 4 different clowns before settling on EMC.

My work in Physics consists of having my fingers and arms extended to lengths never before recorded, while hanging on a cliff. I prayed to Albert. Yes, we were lovers….he moved to northern CA giving massages to naked men and women.

Current score 5

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wamo 13 June 2013
@2opinion8ed @wamo

images (14)He was EatMeTiger on FOX when I first ran across him. I thight…”Well, he’s kind of an ass hole.” (I like him a lot more then.) And then someone started calling him a coyote because of living in Vegas and the desert I think. So he changed it to EatMeCoyote. Or EMC for short. The EMC2 is relatively new and has to do with his work in Physics. He told me he was damn smart. I didn’t believe it till I found out even Einstein had proved his theory to be true. Yes, he and Einstein were lovers.

Current score 5

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wamo 12 June 2013
@2opinion8ed @wamo

He was EatMeTiger on FOX when I first ran across him. I thight…”Well, he’s kind of an ass hole.” (I like him a lot more then.) And then someone started calling him a coyote because of living in Vegas and the desert I think. So he changed it to EatMeCoyote. Or EMC for short. The EMC2 is relatively new and has to do with his work in Physics. He told me he was damn smart. I didn’t believe it till I found out even Einstein had proved his theory to be true. Yes, he and Einstein were lovers.

Current score 5

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wamo 9 June 2013
By the way 8ed, I was correct. It was just a little over 15 hours today.images (10)

I had to brake hard for a friggin’ coyote on the way up there this morning. I think it may have spit out an olive….?

Current score 5

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wamo 5 hours ago

@GoChevyGo @EMC2 @2opinion8ed

8ed…you cannot end a post with the word ‘ass’ on Tuesdays or Thursdays IF you are the first to post on a new subject.

EMC…If you state that will use 2-300 words you better damn well use that many which you did. Or your post will be deleted. But only if it does not end with a ? mark.

Chevy- softspike is an oxymoron. And never use ‘bag pipe’ in the same sentence with ‘music’ or you will be DQ’ed.

And never use ‘socks’ and ‘ass’ in the same sentence….on Fridays…..in months beginning with a J…or ending with a vowel. Or you will be DQed.

Current score 5

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UKWendy
Sooooo – I’m back golfing again. Centenary Foursomes today which my partner and I won (despite constant miserable rain) so we’re through to represent our club for the county final at a very fine course in July. Tomorrow is my first round in the Ladies Summer Knockout, Texas Scramble on Friday, caddying on Sunday, and off for a Mixed Pairs in a neighbouring county on Monday. I’m fatigued just thinking about it.

Current score 5

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tafnut – in response to EMC ignoring him….monkey-grooming
Okay, don’t bother answering me. I hope you have head lice – in your shorts!

Current score 5
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GoChevyGo 5 hours ago 21/4/13
Good stuff for sure. I hope the ERIGO posting will be as interesting and well written. We all have Lee to thank for bringing us together and the friendships that have grown from this.

Thanks Met! Slingers do rock but you granite!

Current score 6

radar60 10/5/13
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OMG did I call this one wrong or what? Rory,Tiger and Phil are all supposed to suck on this track,didn’t Tiger and Rory get the memo???And what about David Toms??? Maybe my friend and fellow Ride’m cup memeber EMC should have tried a little harder to talk me out of that one? Good Grief
Current score 5
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radar60 10/5/13
Anyways…gotta go work for a few hours and then I’m gonna sneak in 9…..don’t tell my wife

Current score 5

images (9)

 

wamo 8 April 2003
EMC2 I Know all about Inbee Park. She played for Walla Walla Community College Softball Team. Went on to pitch for the Arizona Diamondbacks on the same team with Randy Johnson that won the world series. After seeing Randy Johson blow up that fbird with a fast ball she opened a gun and ammo store on the DMZ…. after determining it was too dangerous to do so in the USA.
I know a lot of things. Food, wine, cars, sports, politics, opiates, music….I would say I know just about as much regarding those things as I do the background of the LPGA players…..?

Current score 6

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metro18
EMC2 The scoring is completely arbitrary and totally dependent on my mood at the the time. You suck, so why would I even expect that you would be in the lead???
Fixed and you’re welcome -)

Current score 6

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em66 4 April 2013
metro18 Easingwold Hey, I gotta tell you about what could have been the greatest shot I’ve hit in 45 years of playing. On Monday I went to a local course here and was playing great. I was even par after 11 holes when I came to the 500 yd par 5 12th. We had about a 8-10 mph tail wind and my drive rolled out out 310yds giving me 190 left to the green. It’s a tiny green with deep bunkers guarding the front and bushes and trash long. I needed a very high draw into the green. I hit a 7 iron with the idea that short was better than long and that the wind might just carry me there. When I hit the shot I thought it might be good. It was very high and carried just over the bunker and rolled past the cup about three feet. I made the putt for eagle and finished the day -1. What made it such a great shot was that it was exactly how I envisioned it. This is such a great game!!

Current score 6

 

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Wendy….images (7)
& Chevy rhymes with ? ”

EMC2 April 2 2013
UKWendy GoChevyGo
Dickhead…

Current score 8

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hedgehopper 31 March 2013

Who’s the idiot that invited Splurj to be a Slinger?? Oh wait… that would be me….

Current score 6
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Metro 28 March 2013

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of The night.” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary.” She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. “Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

Current score 6

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metro18 moderator 16/3/13

Put vs. Putt

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

“Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor.images (12)

“P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “‘Put’ means to place a thing where you want it. ‘Putt’ is merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

Current score: 5
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GoChevyGo 2.26.13
I have a dream… No not as in Martin Luther King Jr type of dream. But if I were ever fortunate enough to win the lotto, which I means I should actually buy a ticket now and then, I would pay for all airfare, accommodations and the cost of golf for a week at some place like Kapalua for all Slingers. There are 21 of us I believe. which would make it tough to setup 4 somes. But there is always one or two people who wouldn’t be able to make it for one reason or another. But to me, this would be an event that would make for great memories. It would be great fun and getting everyone together in person would be the best part of it all. Even if we all golfed like shit.

Current Score: 5

images (5)
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Hedgehopper
on January 25, 2013 at 5:43 AM said: Edit
EMC,

That’s your toilet ritual. Metro’s talking about your golf swing.

Current score: 5

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MX2 on January 25, 2013 at 2:36 PM said: Edit
Father and son are walking through a drugstore and pass a display of condoms.
Son: “Hey Dad, what are these?”
Father: “These are condoms”
Son: “Yeah, we talked about these in health class.” (holding up a pack) “Which one is this?”images (11)
Father: “That is a three pack, it is for high schoolers, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday”
Son: “What about this one?”
Father: “That is a six pack, it’s for college students, twice on Friday, twice on Saturday and twice on Sunday”
Son: “And this one?”
Father: “That is a 12 pack, that is for married men, once in January, once in February, once in March …”

Current score: 5

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wam on January 24, 2013 at 3:43 PM said: Edit
Slingers:

Don’t blame me for this mess. I asked Metro for ‘Full Editorial Control Equalizing Slingerville’ (FECES) so there would not be an imbalance in ‘posts per Slinger’ (PPS) but she would not allow it.
She said she would whack my PPs when when saw fit.

Current score: 6

Got a cute birthday card with the top ten golf phrases that sound dirty but aren’t

10. You need to adjust your grip
9. It bends a little to the left
8. Keep your head down
7. We have a threesome, care to join us?
6. Try choking down on the shaftgolf-tip-head-down2
5. How many strokes was that?
4. I’m pretty good with my short putts
3. Spread your legs a little more
2. Get in the hole! Get in the hole!
1. Anything with the words “ball washer”

Current score: 7

 

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wam
on January 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM said:
It’s OK Hedge.

I can’t shoot you from Washington State. This paramilitary sniper rifle with armor piercing 50 caliber ammo is only accurate for about 3 miles.

Think I’ll take the damn thing back to Toys-R-Us and see what I can get online instead.

Current score: 5
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Hedge 21 December 2012

On the first day of Christmas, metro sent to me
8ed on a fairway.

On the second day of Christmas, metro sent to me
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway.

On the third day of Christmas, metro sent to me
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the fourth day of Christmas, metro sent to me
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the fifth day of Christmas, metro sent to me
Five green jack-ets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap,
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the sixth day of Christmas, metro gave to me
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jack-ets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap,
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the seventh day of Christmas, metro gave to me
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,images (13)
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the eighth day of Christmas, metro gave to me
Easingwold a-swilling,
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the ninth day of Christmas, Metro gave to me
tugoo and Wendy dancing,
Easingwold a-swilling,
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap,
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the tenth day of Christmas, metro gave to me
Billy & EMC sleeping,
tugoo and Wendy dancing,
Easingwold a-swilling,
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap,
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, metro gave to me
JJ with a belly putter,
Billy & EMC sleeping,
tugoo and Wendy dancing,
Easingwold a-swilling,
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, metro gave to me
Stub on a celestial links course,

JJ with a belly putter,
Billy & EMC sleeping,
tugoo and Wendy dancing,
Easingwold a-swilling,
Cal & taf’s golf balls swimming,
scrums, doc, & phil a-playing,
five green jackets.
Four falling birdies,
three wams absurd,
a two handicap
and 8ed on a fairway!

Merry Christmas Slingers! You All Rock!!

MX2 on said:Edit

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This in from David Letterman
David Letterman’s Top 10 Reasons why Golf is better than Sex
#10 A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09 You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08 It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07 Foursomes are encouraged.
#06 You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05 Three times a day is possible.
#04 Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03 If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.
#02 You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex
#01 When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
Current score: 7

.
Hedge – August 8 2012
This place has a point? Now I’m more confused than wamo at an Oregon Fucks football game! Or, EMC at a tuxedo-only state dinner.
Current score: 5

OMG!!! Can you get that off, metro?? The stupid ‘D’ key is next to the ‘F’. Please! I’ll never live this down!!!
Current score: 5

I am really mortified! Yikes! Pleeeease
Current score: 5

Oregon-Ducks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Metro 16 7 12
This from an email from Tugoo. Post it yourself next time Ernie!!
Wifes Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasnt flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didnt say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, Nothing.. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasnt
upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.” When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband’s Diary:
A five putt who in the hell five putts?
Current score: 6

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Wamo 6 June 2012
I went to a funeral last weekend. It was a man who was 95. He knew me when I was born and he is in some of my earliest memories.
His boat was the 3rd one that hit the beach at Normandy of those that were unloaded off the ship that was carrying them on D-Day.
The first one was obliterated, the second took a direct hit, and then theirs made it to shore. He survived living through hell. None of us that knew him knew what he had been through. His family didn’t even know the whole story until recently. He hated war and the fact that any man is ever sent into it.
He loved music, farming, his family, and a simple life. I would imagine after what he had been through he was grateful for every day.
He had 3 daughters and a son. The youngest daughter is my age.
His wife died about 4 weeks ago after a brief condition involving internal bleeding. He saw her at a County Fair in 1940 and bought one of her homemade pies to get her attention. It worked. They were married for over 70 years.
His daughters said he died of a broken heart after only 4 weeks or so of being without her. I could see how after that long. Like a part of him being torn away. He had Alzheimers and was about through fighting anyway but it was bittersweet to see him let go at the end. Imagine surviving the landing at Normandy but not the loss of your wife.
He told his daughters and son just a few days before he died in one of the very few somewhat lucid moments that he had:
Never, Never, Never Hate.
Always, Always, Always Love.
I will remember that for a long time from a guy who didn’t show a bit of bitterness from what he had been through and was one of the kindest people you could ever meet. Probably why he lived so long.
Don’t know why I posted this. Growing to appreciate some of the older generation that I have known as we lose them. I wish I would have drawn on their experience more when I was a younger man.

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Tugoo April 7 2012

Read the past comments about TW throwing his club, etc.. Seems as if there is somewhat of a consensus by a few it is ok because others do it also but just don’t get caught on camera. Some say it is not the proper thing to do irrespective of who is committing the act. images (8)It is all a piece of what is acceptable in today’s society. It is far more acceptable for people to act in ways and say things today that in some years past would not be allowed.
I am sorry but I do not approve and I have heard the lover man, Fred Couples, scream ‘OH FUCK’ more than once on a golf course, once on camera. I think each player who spits in a hole, curses loud enough for the camera to pick it up, throws or kicks his club while playing should have to play the next hole with his thumb in his mouth sucking it like a child and/or be pushed in a stroller to the next shot.
Your position in life does not provide you the stage to say and/or do as you please. There is such a thing as courtesy and respect, especially in a public forum. Particularly when the people who see it or hear it are providing your income to some degree.
I can hurl it, cuss it and kick it as good as the next one but there is a time and place for everything and ..I shall stop.
That was typed from my room in the Holiday Inn Express at the KOA!!
Current score: 5

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Taf 24 January 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Slingers, it really does rock!
Three or four years ago, who can tell?
A group of golfers got on rather well.
Ivy, Radar, JJ . EMC
Doc, Hedge, Phil and the lovely,all too modest Lee

In Fox, they would gather, sit and exchange views,
It was a wonderful way to escape the blues.
Friendships were made, tons of chat,
Isn’t golf great like that?

Then a suggestion was made, to increase the fun
A tipping contest, Singapore Slingers had begun,
But an argument erupted, a tosser called Industry Hills,
Stopped taking his pills,
Became a really sick dog,
So Ivy said,’bugger it, we’ll get our own private blog

The room began to grow, 8, Cal ,Chevy and more,
Gathered in the room, run from Singapore.
Not only Fox was taking a dive,Waggle Room became more dead than alive.
The new writers. That was a lie
Inherited a great friendly blog,
Only to let it die.
I told some fool to piss off, complained the room was bland,
And promptly got banned.
Frustration crept in,golfers left the room in tatters,
So the writers said
Wait, we can comment as well,
Because after all, it’s hits that matter.

Then Lee invited Easy in,
And asked if the others would like to join him.
Wendy, Diane, Scrums and Stub,
Now grace this most special club.

We all post around the clock,
Slingers, does indeed, Rock !
Easy 29.2.12

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Metro 19 December 2011
Some Christmas Carols For the Psychologically Challenged
Multiple Personality Disorder- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Schizophrenia – Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
Amnesia – I Don’t Remember If I’ll be Home for Christmas.
Paranoid – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town To Get Us.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me. Borderline Personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I’m Gonna Cry, and I’ll not Tell You Why.
Agoraphobia 0 I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Attention Deficit Disorder – Silent night, Holy oooh look at the-it’s snowing-can I have a chocolate-why is France so far away?
Social Anxiety Disorder – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) – Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants
And….. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Current score: 6

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Hedge 18 December 2012

My annual attempt to Slingerize a classic poem (with apologies to Robert Frost)

Passing by the Treehouse on a Snowy Evening
Whose tree this is I think I know.
Their houses are ’round the world though;
They will not see me stopping here
To watch the fun-filled golf chateau.
The sly Coyote must think it queer
To stop without friend Wamo near.
Between the Stub and Easingwold
There’s none who deftly strikes the ball.
Metro and Wendy’s heads do shake
To ask if there is some mistake,
When 8ed, Cal, and Chevy make
Comments that cause our arse to ache.
Billy, Doc, and JJ blather
While Phil and Radar get in a lather.
Constant talk from the Euro horde,
Keep Hedge and EMC off the board.
The treehouse is lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Current score: 6

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Hedgehopper. 15 November 2011
The Polite Way to Pee
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
Michael said: Just a minute I have to go pee.
The teacher responded by saying:
That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?
Sherman said:
I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.images (6)
I’ll be right back.
That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the
word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Johnny said:
I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.
The teacher fainted

Current score: 5
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8’ed 15 November 2011
maybe i’ll use bruno’s email address to get into WR. They can’t deny a dude called Bruno.
Current score: 6
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Hedge

(DISCLAIMER: This story contains no profanity, sexual humor, or innuendo. I know this means you might skip it, but you’ll miss a great lesson.)
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal, Sister Mary, decided that
something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean
the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned The mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers.. And then there are educators..
Current score: 6
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Hedgehopper 1 11 11

Since it’s Halloween here is a poem dedicated to my brethren and sisteren (I hope you recognize the tune it’s set to):
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together pukey,
The Slinger Family.
Their Treehouse is a museum
Where people come to see ’em
They really are a scream
The Slinger Family.
(Drunks) (snap-snap)
(Skunks) (snap-snap)
(Punks) (snap-snap)
With a place that you can brawl in
Donkeys, dogs, coyotes crawl in
Drunk, stoned and weird we’re all in
The Slinger Family!
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Hedgehopper 10.10.11

Come on! What’s the evidence? Is it just because she has a deep voice? If you convict her on that then you’d have to say that former tennis star Mary Carillo and TV host Rachel Maddow are gay!!


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Phil May 26 2011….
I made a tribute to hedge on FOX.
Here’s the story of an ugly lady
Who was bringing up three very ugly girls.
All of them had weird names like sally, cherryhill and kokomo,
The youngest one just hurls.
Here’s the story, of a loser named Tenelli,
Who was busy with three avis of his own,
There was tom, huck and caleb, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a troll family.
That’s the way he all became the pokesalad Bunch.
The pokesalad Bunch,
etc
Current score: 6

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T&F May 18 2011..

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that.. 2:30 am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.bagpiper
Man calls 911 and says I think my wife is dead The operator says how do you know? He says The sex is the same but the ironing is building up.
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said You’re pulling my leg.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, You’re obviously not listening.
Current score: 6

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