A few additions to Wendy’s Spanish tale

Tuesday evening. We did have two G and Ts before dinner and pretty large ones at that BUT what she has omitted to tell you is that before the cigarette break we also had one or two glasses of red wine. As I am a reformed smoker and therefore holier than thou, I did not go outside with Wendy and Di. I was told by Di, at dinner that Wendy had gone to bed after a fall, so having eaten my dinner I returned to our room to check up on my pal. I swear that I did not know she had hurt her wrist at that time otherwise I would have stayed with her, attending to her every need, and not returned to the bar where there was for me, a far more interesting attraction.

Wednesday. I did offer to accompany Wendy the emergency centre, but as we were both on Team A and I felt it was in the greater interest of the team for me to play golf and
I was grateful for Pam’s offer to go with her. In the event they were both seriously attracted to the doctor who attended her there.

After that week my heart goes out to those who care for older folks on a daily basis and I hope that when the time comes there will be someone there for me, to tie my trainers, cut my food and dress me. I wish she had just gone back and had the plaster put on so we could have stayed a few extra days – no gratitude!

As for my golf during the week, the less said the better. It started as c**p but did improve. The final day was a matchplay which I love playing because I seem to be able to keep more focussed. The A team ( which Wendy and I were both a part of) won by a wide margin over the week in spite of her letting us down!

As a final note, while we were waiting to board the plane, we sat with some younger men who had been playing golf and apparently seriously enjoying themselves in Vilamoura, Portugal. When they noticed Wendy’s arm they were very sympathetic. I hastily pointed out that this was not a golfing injury. They then asked if she had incurred the injury “beating off young Spanish men”. As we are both polite and well brought up English ladies it took us a while to understand exactly what this meant. But in answer to their question – what happened in Spain, stays in Spain!!!!

Sue

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Phoenix Winter Swing

Highlights.

Danny sets up on maybe the 4th tee.     Launches a hard and low bullet into a ‘gaggle’ (?) of ducks walking across the fairway.    SMACK !!    One dead duck.
We said a prayer in silence.

Matt huffs and puffs his way around the course ….and finally, on the 17th hole
he drives the green and walks off with a par.    We celebrated his victory by dumping on him !
Billy starts out with a handful of crap, steadies after the first nine, and then….wins again.  Bastard !

Mikey had a good day.    6 pars, a 9 and 2 snowmen, and a bunch of bogeys.    Par for the course so to speak.    At least for Mikey ?

The 19th hole was good.    We identified and solved all the problems of the world

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ERIGO outing…. so to speak – September 9 2013

Chevy

The drive up to NC took about 4 hours. I was the first to arrive. 8 showed up about 10 minutes after I did then Tugoo some time later and last but not least Golf finally made it.

8ed is the kind of guy you love to have in a group because he ensures there are never moments of silence. He hits the ball a mile and barely stops talking long enough to hit the ball. I think he even actually talked all the way through his setup and swing a few times. Golf was the quiet one of the bunch. He is a very good golfer too, good off the tee, fairway and around the greens. He made the longest putt of the weekend of around 80 feet so he can putt too. He was the only one of us to catch a fish, even if it looked more like bait.

8ed borrowed a putter from him for day 2 since the toaster at the end of a stick that he was using on day one was way too heavy for him to control the speed on these fast and challenging greens.
Tugoo was very helpful with me on the practice tee day one where I couldn’t hit the ball at all. I thank him for his help and the visual aids for a lot of the tips Met has been giving me as well. But I can usually hit the ball a lot better than I was. He was a great host and had many stories and tidbits of information about the course, the area and the people that live there.

I can’t think of 3 guys I’d rather play a round of golf with. Day one was a bit of an adventure for me. I had a birdie, a few pars and a lot of other scores, you know the kind with 2 names. double bogey, triple bogey, quad…. yeah Iost a few Lethals that day but still have many of them left.
All 3 are much better golfers than I am and gave advice when merited, Tugoo would tell me ” that was that right arm again” I knew it too. But also commented when I hit it well. Old bad habits are hard to break. The second day saw a lot more good shots than bad and I lost no balls which made for a much more enjoyable round and lower score. Tugoo was hurting a lot with a bad back but was a real trooper and hung in there all day. Yes getting old sucks but it was quite evident that he knew a lot about how to hit a golf ball.

The course, as short as it was, was very challenging. The greens were fast with a lot of false fronts that would have your ball rolling back onto the fairway if you didn’t get it deep enough into the green. If you were above the hole you were almost guaranteed a 3 putt unless your name was Jim. He had an uncanny knack for getting the speed just right most of the time. But even so many putts ran well past the hole from above. Below you had to hit it really hard to get it there. The holes are also designed to use the lay of the land to screw you if you hit it in the wrong places. The weather was fantastic. We all played pretty well on day 2 and our net score was 59 I believe. We will challenge any group of slingers to a match anytime! At least that’s what 8ed said. Even though he said a lot of things…

I would do this again in a heartbeat. Good people, good golf, great fun. I have to thank you met for bringing us all together. I still have a dream and will buy my lotto tickets in hopes that one day we can all get together and have as much fun as the 4 of us did this past weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn_bEmeQKos&feature=player_detailpage

Tugoo

The rundown is the great time I had meeting Jim and Bruno along with being around Bryan for a more extended time than we had in Indianapolis. It all started with giving Bruno a golf lesson to help alleviate his “chicken wing”. At first he was truly struggling but in a few minutes he started adapting and changing. Bruno is quite athletic and with more work and supervised practice/instruction he could become a single digit handicapper because…..he is trainable and putts well. His score Sunday was a dramatic improvement over Saturday’s round

It is also the first time I have ever seen anyone with a rod/reel in their golf bag and “golf” used it several times during each round. It was amazing to me that Jim/Golf was scanning his I phone for the scores of the Euro event, fishing and playing golf on Sunday AM. Multi-tasker personified as well as being a very good player.

Bryan struggled with the greens, as most do including me, at Mountain Glen. It is a true mountain course with greens cut into some gentle hillsides which often times make it difficult to determine if you are up or down with the slope of the green. They were extremely fast putting with the slope causing havoc for all of us. The speed along with the false fronts made for several spin offs of approach shots. Bryan however improved drastically to shoot under par on the last nine Sunday.
Saturday evening was a blast at the “joint” which is where wifey and I stated for the summer. We did the All-American thing with burgers, baked beans, corn on the cob and chips. The guys were well fed and surprisingly well behaved even during the ball game. I am sure it is all attributed to my wife Sharon being in attendance. We enjoyed hosting the group and sincerely hope we will be able to do it again at let’s say another venue….in sunny warm Florida? Their call, I am up for another Slinger outing.

8’ed

Here, I couldn’t wait. Chevy is screwing off on a Monday morning, I was jealous & had to join in.

Another nearly sleepless night in anticipation of a Slinger Outing. Surely, I’ll grow out of this child-like “Christmas Morning/ Disneyland” Syndrome one day. On the road 5:45am. Into Tennessee in no time, still dark, foggy as hell. Surely I’ll make North Carolina soon. HOLY CRAP, 3 hours & still in NE Tennessee, I must be driving in circles around what has to be AREA 52 located in the Mountains of NE TN. Off the Interstate in Johnson City, turn left. (I’m not being anal, but I’ve got my garmin gps AND iphone google maps BOTH running with directions to the course….can’t miss THIS tee time, it’s a BIG DEAL) OK the road tees, Garmin says turn left, iphone says turn right. HOLY SHIT. According to google, I’ll save 10 minutes going right so I do. The garmin recalculates, & half a mile down the road they both say turn left. LEFT? HERE? It looks like someone’s fucking Driveway!!! Oh, well, no idea where I am, but these two electronic devices seem to know. 30 minutes of winding around roads where if 2 cars meet, 1 pulls up against the trees that border the little path known as (fill in the blank) “Gap” Road, to give room for the other, I make it to civilization…I mean a road with yellow lines painted down the middle. FINALLY make it to North Carolina 10 miles north of the Course. There’s the Detour Ernie warned me of, & it’s 3 miles on Blevins Gap Road, my bladder is about to burst holding back the last 20 of the 100 ounces of coffee that replaced a restful night’s sleep, as I continually tap the bumper of the Honda Accord doing 20mph in front of me.

Arrive in the parking lot to find a rare combination of pickup trucks & Mercedes to see Bruno (Chevy) sitting on a bench waiting for this sling to kickoff. I wave & run to the door of the clubhouse. WRONG door, Chevy points me to pro shop, down stairs. Ever notice how its either poop or pee with me en route these golf get together things?
Ernie (Tugoo) arrives just a couple minutes after. He knows everybody at the course. I think he’s been here before. We follow him up to the counter, & lay down our credit cards ($46 with a cart, BARGAIN! We must have got the guest discount) We putt a few & the ball rolls past the hole EXACTLY as far as the putt was long. WTF kind of greens are these? Oh, Daddy Long Legs was all I brought, FOOL! This long handled heavy putter is NOT going to make this easy.
We get some balls & head over to the range to warmup. Ernie is stretching like Miguel himself (without the trademark cigar) & Chevy’s behind me. I hit a few smooth wedges, & see balls rolling & bounding left & right from the guy behind me, with some moans & groans thrown in. It’s Chevy & he’s struggling, I interrupt Tugoo by saying, “Tugoo, behind me, a little help?”
Tugoo comes over to Chevy & has him hit 3 balls, the next 15 minutes….I SHOULD HAVE videoed!!! Tugoo gives Chevy EXACTLY what he needs on the range to get him hitting it with the face. I was IMPRESSED (with both of them, actually) I was just memorized, deer in headlights moment. I look down to the putting green as its getting close to our tee time, & see Jimmy Stewart (Golf2day!) I wave him up to hit some balls with us, & learn HE DON’T NEED TO HIT NO STINKIN’BALLS, seriously, he doesn’t. We head back over to that dreaded putting green & wait as the Member-Guest tourney was making the turn, we start a little late.
Either Tugoo just gave the best lesson in the history of the game, or Chevy was sandbagging, or nervous on the range. HE PARS THE FIRST DAMN HOLE! SANDBAGGER! I’m not going to go over every hole, or shot, but we ending up playing COD (a game they play in FL, Carts against carts for 6 holes, then Opposites for 6, then Drivers for 6, fun game, makes you partners with everyone in the 4some throughout the round.

The golf was HARD! Lots of overhanging trees, bunkers meandering creeks between holes, & THOSE DAMN GREENS. I think the first day, the scores were 4-10 shots worse than Sunday. Chevy is as funny in person as he is here, & G2 traps the ball with the most penetrating ball flight with mega spin….I ENVY that! Ernie hit some great shots, & some not-so, but the most vivid memory of Ernie on course was of him having to stop at the top & a couple times after the transition & pull up do to back pain. It hurt to WATCH!

We finish the round, think me & Ernie lost one of the bets. G2 & I go to check into the Shady Lawn Lodge, & Ernie comes into the lobby with us. After 5 minutes he gives us instructions on how to get to Chevy’s Pineola Lodge which is just across the river from Ernie’s summer site. We watch the girl check-in the guy in line in front of us for another 20 minutes, then we get our room keys & I jump into Jim’s ride & we head down to meet up with Chevy & Goo. I get a VM ding on my phone. (I have no cell phone signal in these mountains, but I do 5 miles south of the course.) We meet up & head over to Ernie’s porch in what is Heaven to me. Trees, & cool dry air….fantastic. We have a drink, & eat Chef Ernie’s burgers & the best sweet corn I’ve had in 30 years (did I say, Heaven? Reminded me of my home, the real one, in Wisconsin)
Ernie’s wife is an angel! (she puts up with him, I suppose that was a given) HA! Love ya Goo! We are FORCED to watch some Michigan Notre Dame football game. Do they allow Michigan fanatics to live in South Carolina? HA! Love you, too Chevy. Was fun to hear Chevy & G2 “discuss” Michigan-Ohio State Football. We stay until halftime & head over for a well-earned night’s rest. Jim must feel bad for me watching me 3-jack 7 or 8 times & offers up one the several putter he carries in the back of his SUV. He pulls out a wagon wheel sawed in half that says “Doc” on the bottom of it, so I accept the offer & will try to putt those frustrating greens with that.

Day 2 9:30 tee, & it goes off without a hitch. Course is now familiar, but hardly easier. Some great shots were played today, we kept a team NET score & hopefully it will be posted for all to DROOL at!!! Ha, Ham & Egg on steroids for the Redneck Slingers! Jim rolled one in from off the back of 17 that rolled at the same speed for 40 feet, never slowed down, & curled right to left into the center of the cup! Net eagle. Then on #6 (a driveable par 4 guarded by 2 giant greenside bunkers), Jim drains a 60 footer after leaving his sandshot short. Chevy was in the left rough behind a grove of trees & manages to somehow get it hole high on the fringe 25 feet left of the hole, & he drains THAT! Another NET EAGLE. I blasted from the greenside bunker to 12 feet & make THAT. Tugoo’s 30 footer ended up a foot short or ALL OF US would have birdied it! Crazy good considering what our swings look like on video. HA!Long trip home ahead, Ernie finds a guy to give me directions to keep me off that little stretch of driving on driveways, but for some reason, the garmin gps takes me to a 4 lane highway that gets me back to the Interstate in 8 miles this time. WTF? GPS can be bullshit.

As anticipated, this was a trip to remember for a lifetime! 59!!! With those greens? Amazing stuff
SLINGERS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHpe1rfnkP8&feature=player_detailpage

Golf2Day

I was the last of the Slingers to arrive at Mountain Glen course for a perfect afternoon of golf in Western Carolina. I have driven through the area a few times and always wanted to visit this beautiful part of the country, both this trip and the one to meet GGS were very pleasant 300 mile trips though the Appalachian mountains. When I checked in the lady at the desk told me I was getting a special rate since I was playing with Ernie, just one of several bonuses from getting to know Mr. Tugoo as he is known throughout telemarketer community. She tells me they are on the range but I don’t usually hit range balls before a round so I hit the putting green. I thought they might be over fairly soon but I wasn’t aware that Tugoo was giving Chevy a lesson on the range, I didn’t see how Bruno was hitting it at first on the range but from the sound of it the lesson must have helped because he played well all weekend. After a putting for a while I look over to the range and even though they have never met me they somehow figured out that I was their fourth and started waving me over to the range. After introductions and finishing off the rest of the range balls we head back over to the putting green where 8’d first gives me a Taylor Made golf ball with my name on it sent to me(and all of us) from our mom Metro on the other side of the planet. Then Bryan pulls out a brown paper bag with a bottle of Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon, he brought each of us a bottle, one of which did not make it through the night over at Tugoo’s place. All these bonuses and we haven’t even tee’d off yet! Mountain Glen is a very nice course, with all the rain this summer it was very plush, the greens were very clean and fast with those curious breaking putts that you normally find on such hilly courses. Chevy said I putted well on them but that first day I had four 3 putts, one of them on a par three that I almost hit the flag on my tee shot but couldn’t keep the downhill birdie putt close after just breathing on it, if you were above the hole in certain spots you might just keep your turn if you miss. We all did not play our best golf that day but we each had our moments, Chevy had the first birdie of the day(I had none), Tugoo birdied the 18th with an incredible shot through a tree(clipping some leaves) to just a few feet, he was also a very helpful coach and caddy the whole weekend. 8’d and I definitely needed improvement, he borrowed my putter/waffle iron for the second day and tore it up on the back side once he got the feel of it, it is actually a fun putter to play with. After we finished our first round, actually a net 62(we did brother-in-law it well), we head back to the Shady Lawn hotel to check in before dinner at Tugoo’s. 8’d and I have a long wait at check in while the lady at the desk takes care of a guy trying to decide if he wants to stay there. Outside in the parking lot is a Sheriff talking to a young couple, he winds up putting the guy in handcuffs then in the back of the car, after a minute, he takes him out, takes off the cuffs, then they all come in to the office. It seems that they all work there or part of the family that owns it, the surprising part was how young the Sheriff was, I figured that the Sheriff was just holding the guy until he agreed to do his homework for him. After check in we jump in my truck and head over to Ernie and Sharon’s house for dinner. We have an All-American hamburger, beans and sweet corn dinner which is perfect for a bunch of guys covering ground from Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. After dinner we crack someone’s bottle of Kentucky Bourbon that 8’d brought each of us and had a toast to the Slingers, SLINGER’S ROCK!! Day 2’s golf was much improved although Ernie and I were fighting bad back’s, we managed to get around without having to call 911. A perfect golf weekend for me, I would do it all again in a heartbeat, I can’t wait for the next chance to meet up for another Slinger golf outing.

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Slaughter at Greystone – August 29 2013

GGS

Well, got to meet another slinger last Monday. Golf made me feel even older than Doc. I actually have a pair of shoes his age. Golf2Day was tuning up for a mid-am tournament and let me tag along during his practice round. I was again stupid and did not play the tees I should but there were a lot of folks tuning up and it was a comfortable pace but not that speedy. Figured I could keep up even from the back tees.

Greystone is a great track and was in immaculate condition. A couple of the greens were a little spotty but they rolled well. Course is also reasonably priced ($28 for old folks including the cart). Won’t get into the gory details of the slaughter but if I had implemented the age difference differential allowed by Rule 7-4 of the senior rules of golf I would have kicked his butt.

The course and I (sounds like a good title for a movie) The course was in superb condition. I guess the USGA wants to test these mid-am guys. I must say they were generous with the height of the rough. I judge that by how hard it is for me to negotiate it. It did not pose much of a problem but I guess if one gets into it enough, getting out becomes easier. The greens were moderate regarding the speed and not too tricky. Most pin placements were near the middle. I guess the tournament people did not want to give away any secrets. That is not to say that there were not some devilish possibilities for pin placement.

You would think I would have learned my lesson, regarding yardage, playing with Doc. Played 6400 playing with Doc. Wasn’t going to do that again and I didn’t. This time I played 7000 and was only two strokes worse. I was again shooting for bogies and failed the mark by three shots this time. Came close to expectation so it was not hard to take. Made some good shots and some bad but overall I was pleased.

If Golf had half as much fun as I did, I think he had a good time. He is an excellent ball striker and has better than average accuracy. Ticked me off constantly. He has the type of game I don’t even dream of dreaming about. He would definitely give Doc a run for his money. Just for the record Doc, ran into another one of those 180 or so yard par three’s. It is the picture where it shows my superb reverse pivot. Just for your information, I made par on that one. I guess an old dog can learn the odd new trick sometimes. I mentioned the pace of play and in case anyone doubts my words, I did include a picture of Golf fishing while we were between holes. Got my butt kicked again but had a great time having it done. Look forward to be able to doing it again sometime soon.

________

Golf2day

After a nice 300 mile drive to GreyStone Golf Club just outside Nashville TN I met up with GGS at their front desk about 20 minutes before our tee time, about the same way I usually arrive to golf, hop from the car to the first tee after a few putts to test the greens. He said that he had been back to the front desk 20 times to see if I had arrived yet, the pro at the desk said it had been 22.

The weather was great, a bit warm but clear and dry. They started us off on the 10th hole and GGS decides he wants to play the back tees with me at 6900 yards, but thought he may move up if it gets out of hand, but played them all the way around with little problem. Unfortunately our first shot is a blind downhill shot that had some hidden trouble down the left, tall rough that you just don’t know is there unless you had played there before, he smacked the crap out of the tee shot with that short backswing but we never did find that one in the tall cabbage.
After that we didn’t have much trouble the rest of the way around, when we reached the last hole he said he would buy dinner if I beat him on the last hole straight up, heck he nearly birdied the par 5, I was lucky just to tie him.

I was really glad that things worked out the way they did, when we cancelled our trip to visit Tugoo in Redneck heaven the week before I decided to scout out GreyStone instead, but I didn’t really realize that GGS lived close enough to meet up until after I had made my first trip there. Knowing that I would be back the next week for the USGA Mid-Am qualifier I sent him an e mail asking if he would like to meet up for a round of golf, luckily he had no problem coming down to join me for my practice the day before. It actually turned out to be the best part of the trip because the next day I shot 10 strokes higher playing a 5 hour round in the 90 degree heat, the practice round with George was the saving grace of my trip, once again proving that Slinger Rock!!!

Now on to Redneck heaven to meet up with Tugoo, 8’d and Chevy on Sept 7th…………

Rydem’ Cup – USA 500 Club – Phoenix

Today Team USA drew first blood in the long anticipated Ride’m cup Match.

There was a sense of urgency as tomorrow morning I’m on a plane to Santa Barbara and when I come back United Van Lines will be starting to pack up our stuff. This would be my last golf game in Arizona, at least for a while.

I drove up late last night so I could be well rested for this all important event. I stayed in the same hotel as during our practice rounds a couple of weeks ago, one block from Hooters and the Tilted Kilt…….. Decisions ,Decisions ,Decisions. Although I’m not impartial to the orange hot pants I did choose the Kilt and man oh man did they bring out the big dogs on Saturdays. So I stayed at least 2 bloody Mary’s too long and I wasn’t all that fresh when I got to the course this morning.

I played on Saturday and after a short hot streak over a couple of weeks I played pretty lousy. I couldn’t hit my drives. So under the watchful eye of coach Mikey it appeared I had my problems straightened out on the driving range.

Well then came the first nine. I must have still had the best invention ever on my mind ( the push up bra) because I wasn’t focused on the job at hand. I couldn’t even claim that I was doing a Clint Eastwood impression from the good, the bad and the ugly because I didn’t have the good or the bad. I had the Ugly, the Uglier and the Ugliest. And of course I hit the ball in the water on the island hole. I don’t think I have ever NOT done that on that Stoopid #$%^ hole. I had to apologize to my team members that carried the team because I contributed the grand total of one shot on the front nine.

Fortunately I played much better on the back nine and as a matter a fact I made three or four of my holes count. So it wasn’t a totally wasted effort after all although I’d like to have a 3 footer and a 4 footer back that I left 2 inched short. On the par five 18 I hit a drive in the fairway but it was on the right side where I was pretty much all day with the exception of a woefully skanked hook that was 50 yards left in the wrong fairway. That hole has nothing but water trouble on the right so I was telling Mikey that I was going to aim my second shot left. Of course it went way leftier than intended but I must have hit a saguaro because it had bounced back onto grass. I had 184 yards left over desert, trees and water and I hit my best shot of the day by far with a 5 wood . It sailed over the flag, hit the bank and rolled back down onto the green. It was so pure that when I was watching it I exclaimed ( with apologies to Hedge) ” that’s ONE FECKEN GOOD golf shot).

So regardless of a fairly pitiful performance on my part that’s the one that will keep me coming back.

Most fortunately for Team USA and all our fans Mikey and Billy bailed me out on the holes I butchered and I feel good about returning the favor on the back nine. To keep the suspense going we can’t tell our final score but I would suggest that Team Europe at the very least bring their A minus game.
If however in the very unlikely event of a European miracle Team USA will not win the Ride’m cup we will keep our heads up high in the knowledge and the satisfaction that we gave it our all.

More importantly, this was the last game with the three Arizona amigos at least for a while. It’s just crazy that a little internet blogging community about golf has resulted in the friendship that I feel with these guys. Billy, Mikey, I love you and I had the blast…..until we meet again!

Fons

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Rydem’ Cup – UK Forrest of Arden

Scrums….

I understand that I have to do a little piece on the Ride Em Cup experience……….so here goes.

Never having met Wendy or Easy ‘in the flesh’ before Sunday I was a little nervous. However I can now tell you all that they are both terrific people to spend time with both off and on the golf course.
On Sunday we were to play the Aylesford course as a warm up…………..warm it was not.!! The wind was howling, the rain was falling, but the company was fun.

I don’t think any one of us played our best golf (well I certainly didn’t) but we got around and enjoyed each other’s company scaring Canada geese and chasing after Wendy’s rented Motocaddy, which was possessed by an evil course spirit………….the damn thing would just take off on it’s own down the fairway with Wendy and my wife Sue in hot pursuit……………Easy and I looked on and crossed our fingers hoping that they wouldn’t end up in water, sand or bushes.I almost forgot…………cart girls…….pah.!!……..Wendy got her picture taken with a cart codger………..some people have no shame…….:-)

Anyway by close of play I had managed some net pars but not one genuine one……..Wendy and Easy probably did a lot better.
The feeling of having played like a numpty lasted only fleetingly…………….drinks, a good dinner and equally good company saw to that.
Monday 9.06 tee off……….the Arden course……….still windy but dry and fleetingly sunny………..summer at last.!!
What a brutal course 6451 yards of trees, deep bunkers, water and deer……….the only think I didn’t hit was the deer. My 18 handicap looks all too generous. Still the Skipper (Easy) and Wendy were great partners, encouraging, complimentary and enjoyable to be around. Wendy drove the ball like a demon (Laura Davies )and Easy’s all around game was impressive. My three best holes were the 8th,15th and the 18th……….two par threes with carries over water and one over horrible rough that swallowed balls…………hit great drives on all, two great birdie chances…….I parred two and bogeyed the 15th (still I was chuffed to bits)., I don’t know if we will beat The Three Amigos but we gave it our best shot on a brutal course (did I mention that before?? )

So to sum up………….great experience. great people. great time. Would I do it again…………hell yes.!!!! :-))
My wife enjoyed it too even though she didn’t play……….she took the photos,held the flags and raked the bunkers…..although we relieved her of bunker raking duties on Monday…..it was not her forte………..they looked worse after she had been let loose on them.!!!…………so Billy if we all make St Andrews I am sure that your wife will have a great time as well.

Easy…

Ridem Cup match-Brits at the Forest of Arden
Sunday, June 23rd, I met Wendy and Scrums (Dave) , with his lovely wife Sue at the Forest of Arden. A former European tour venue, winners include, Monty, Bjorn, Barry Lane, Darren Clarke and others. I had the idea of meeting up somewhere in the middle of England, the Belfry was a choice, but The Arden it was.
We were doing this anyway, when I made a suggestion of a Ryder Cup match against the 3 Amigos. So it was and we had a practise round on Sunday at the shorter course, the Aylesford. Designed by Donald Steel, who also did the Arden.
The weather was tough. 30 mph gusts, heavy showers, I thought Sue’s Wilson brolly couldn’t take it. All 3 of us were swinging a little fast and it was difficult. I was more concerned Wendy and Dave would have a good time, I admit I was stressed that they should enjoy it. This was their first time at a big golf resort and I could see they were nervous. I did my best to re-assure them both and Sue, bless her, was running around like Fanny Sunesson, raking bunkers and encouraging them both. I half expected the famous “ No cameras please!! ” from Sue, but she was taking the pictures.
The greens were fast. It was a shock at first, but I felt we adjusted to the pace by the end of the round. Wendy holed twice from the fringe, amazing putts !! We had a few drinks, dinner then bed for the tough one the next day.
The Arden.

We teed off at 9:06 and we all hit good drives. The greens were superb and very fast ( I found out later they were 11-12 on the stimpmeter) and undulating. If you were above the hole, it was almost impossible not to have a longer putt coming back. We all had some bad holes. The weather was much better, just a 15-20 mph breeze. Wendy played well, hitting good drives and Dave has a nice draw off the tee hitting 200-230 drives. We dovetailed very well too, as a team must in these situations. When I messed up, Wendy of Dave backed me up more than once and I tried to do the same. I’m very proud of the way they played at a tough course that I know they were nervous about playing. Wendy and Dave were hard on themselves, but I know they more than held their own. Both determined to do their best.

The last, a par 3 over a lake, 194 into the wind, Dave hit a superb driver to the back pin (220 yards) to 5 feet. Even though he missed the putt, it was the shot of the day. The crowd watching from the clubhouse patio would have taken notice.
We had a great time and will meet up again one day ( If they can stand my captaincy ! ) and I couldn’t wish for better golfing companions. Well done you two !!!
Easy

Wendy

The Aylesbury: I have a blank scorecard with no pretty pictures on it. Good – fine by me. The Aylesbury is a lovely course with tree-lined fairways, but my recollection of play is i) dumping my very 1st tee-shot into a pond which had hitherto been lurking way right of the fairway but inexplicably moved as my ball was in the air ii)my delight at making a fantastic long birdie putt from just off the green – somewhat marred by Easing’s birdie at the next hole – he would, wouldn’t he? iii) The 10th par 3 across a pond to an elevated green guarded by massive trees either side where Scrums and I exchanged looks which clearly said “I don’t think so, thank you!”.

Easing drove right into one of the trees where it duly plopped onto the green. Scrums and I – what’s that word? Blobbed! The highlights? Meeting Scrums and his lovely wife Sue for the first time in person, & getting on so well that we didn’t check into the hotel until 19.50 only to be told that dinner was booked for 20.00 so all plans for tarting myself up for dinner were abandoned, dinner passing so quickly that it was 23.00 before we noticed it . Early start tomorrow. Night chaps. The only lowlight was the horrid weather, cold, wet and VERY windy.

The Arden: AWESOME. Humbling. Even some of my best drives were often short of the fairway and the 1st cut, although only 3” deep made it difficult to get a clean shot out of it. Massive bunkers in front of and to the side of many greens. Sneaky ponds which looked liked narrow ditches until one got close to them. Massive greens with more undulations that one could shake a stick at. Sadistic pin placements. One could get onto the green in 2/3/4 shots and still walk off with an 8.

There were no lowlights as although it was still cold and windy, it didn’t rain too much. Oh, there was that bloody battery operation buggy with a mind of its own. Highlights? The lovely Sue who patiently walked with us, raking bunkers, searching for errant shots, supporting us all with every shot. The 8th (I think) Fishermens Hal where there was no option but to hit over a lake (I did suggest I simply throw a ball in the water and move onto the drop zone, but they were having none of that). Sue was standing by the lakeside taking a photo when the wicked Scrums said very quietly “Take a step back, Sue” (didn’t know that did you Sue?) and we all got a fit of the giggles. Well, not Sue obviously. We all made it safely across. The awesome 18th with elevated green across a large expanse of water, where Scrums hit the drive of the entire 2 days to within 4/5 ft. of the hole. The relief and joy on his beaming face was a joy to behold! (Oh thanks for the fantastic Welsh malt, Scrums!). Finally, Captain Easing’s encouragement and support throughout (“we’re dovetailing nicely, chaps”) and his genuine desire that above all else that Scrums and I should enjoy ourselves. We did indeed, Captain. Thanks for everything – I’m sure we’ll find a way of getting our own back on you! (Just j/king – well, sort of).

 

________________

The winners!!!!! USA and by the most slender of margins..

Slingers rock!!!!!

1. Billy 5 /4 0
2. Mikey 6 /4 -1
3. Mikey 5 / 4 0
4. Billy 5 / 4 0
5. Billy 3 /2 -1
6. Fons/Billy 6/5 1
7. Billy 4/3 -1
8. Mikey 3/2 -1
9. Mikey 6/5 0

-3

10. Billy 4/3 -2
11. Mikey 4/3 0
12. Billy 5/4 0
13. Fons 3/1 -2
14. Fons 4/2 -2
15. Fons/Billy 6/5 1
16. Fons/Billy 5/4 0
17. Fons/ 6/4 0
18. Billy 5/4 0

                                                                                                                                        -5
                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                             TOTAL -8 = 64

_______________________

/>

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Stub – RIP old friend

………..I guess we all knew this was coming.

Al Noebel, or STUB as we knew him, died from a heart attack on 22nd July. He was around 86 years old and had golfed for at least 70 of those years.

STUB requested no obituary or service so I will respect that wish.

He is drinking martoonies and drooling over the long-legged, big-breasted young lovelies playing volleyball, or perfecting his pitch shots. That’s all we need to know. He’ll be missed.

‘Ol Wendy.

________________

I know you didn’t want any “o-bitch-u-waries” or any of that stuff, but…….
Here are some of the best of Stub

Go play that great golf course of your dreams Stub, where it never rains, the cart girls give some cheek (both) and par is a bad day. RIP old friend – we will miss you.

Submitted on 2012/07/21 at 8:02 PM | In reply to diane.
Boy, i has to agree with ya there Diane – Say how’d them picks a yurn turn out?.BBBBAAAAAWWWWWAAAAAA!

Submitted on 2012/07/21 at 6:20 PM| In reply to UKWendy.

Why more wind? Ya went DOWN ol gal,..down, down down!Whilst ya down there, check the cellar and see iffin it has enough toilet paper – the single sheet, rough as a cob stuff! .hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Submitted on 2012/07/21 at 12:08 PM | In reply to UKWendy.

Well, if that’s steel, it’s begining to rust a bit,I am with Easy. I don’t think he has the Killer instinct such as tiger ha. You know how singular golf is. I sometimes wonder how the top players can even be married, as self centered as they have to be.
Submitted on 2012/07/21 at 11:44 AM | In reply to metro18.

Just a thought here ya unnerstans, but I think this is funny!! it’s never over til the short lady sings – get it? short lady, not fat lad, it is too funny. Wendy was trying OPERA..you know, singing? ugh,forget it!
Submitted on 2012/07/20 at 5:03 PM  In reply to diane.

Well, he’s won before, so knows how – just all depends on the weather. Blimy so, will an American hoist the chalis? Met will have an absolute melt down. Easy too!
Submitted on 2012/07/20 at 10:26 AM  In reply to metro18.

Howdy brudda Scrums- ya gots that wrong. It’s not chill, it’s chilli. so, yur into the sherbert are ya? Hey did ya take my advise and tell the wife You was the Ruler of the Roost and she damm well better unnerstan it?

Submitted on 2012/07/20 at 10:02 AM| In reply to GoChevyGo.

Gawd amighty Chevy I do believe I’ve attended that lecture a time or two. Ya gits 6 stars from me.Hey, what is the brand of electric fence ya got for yur yard? I bet Met and Wendy could use it fir them Katz – either that or shock the shite otten them. Love to see that

______________________________________

Indy Swing

Hedge

“I wanted to be the first Slinger to post from the Indianapolis Midwest Slinger Open-before 8ed posted a bunch of lies about me!!! LOL I only had time for 9 holes, but it was a great time. Ernie (tugoo), 8ed (Bryan), and Billy (Billy) were wonderful golf companions. I removed all doubt as to who the D-player was (ME!). I hit a few good shots, but wasn’t scoring not that the score mattered. Everyone was so much fun and so gracious yes, I’m still talking about Slingers. I’ll post more later in self-defense but for now I’ll just say that if any of you get a chance to play golf with a fellow Slinger TAKE IT!”

“8ed is a SERIOUS player! He has a controlled hook (and an uncontrolled hooker but that’s another story). Billy is a putter extraordinaire! Tugoo has a very solid game. And me? Well, I was there.”

“Brief observations:
1. Billy has an unusual, but effective swing. He is also one heckuva putter!
2. Tugoo has a good all-around game and is very affable (look it up, it’s not a curse word).
3. 8ed is a very, very good golfer. How he can hit a controlled hook like that is beyond me. He is very patient and a good instructor.
4. Hedge stinks at golf, but can hit a fairway metal from a 3 on down off the deck very good. This helps him out of his frequent troubles. LOL
More later.”

8’ed 

“No time for a full report, except it was better on the back. Teeing your 3rd on a long up hill tight par 5 into the wind makes double a good score. I have a match in an hour, more later. Although I now know why Indiana is so flat, Pete Dye managed to hog all the hills & put them on Fort Harrison. Great course! Great people! (the golf? Not so great)”

8’s recollections
“It’s dark, time to get up? Oi, it’s 4am. I suppose I could make a pot of coffee & watch some Golf Channel, after all, I am driving to Indy to meet Billy, Ernie & Guinn this morning. OK, Dunkin Donuts medium, better make a full pot, long day. Wish I didn’t have to play that match in the morning think this will be fun & sad to leave, oh well, I made that commitment, too.

Good golf on TV, the Nationwide. Wheatcroft shot 60? Wow, these guys are good, too. Holy crap it’s 7:00, better get going. OK google, get me to the Fort. I’ll need some gas on the way, it can waiit. Hey, Iv’e never gone to Indy through Cincy, but google maps won’t steer me wrong. There’s the river, Welcome to Indiana! Alright! Welcome to Ohio 10 minutes later?! WTF? Did I turn? OK, Welcome to Indiana again. I-74 West, yep, that’s me.

Oi, what’s that gurgling in my lower gut? What all DID I eat last night? Hope there’s an exit, yep, 2 miles, Exxon Gas & a crapper! All I need! $4.05/ gallon?! Should have filled for $3.80 in KY. What kind of toilet paper is this anyway?! I can read a text through it. This isn’t working out at all. OK, half a roll & 3 flushes, will have to do, I gotta go. Back on the street. Ought oh, is my ass a little oily? Oh god, no. I can’t show up stinky-butt. A rest area – they’ve got high quality TP there, FOR SURE. This crapper is big enough to setup a dance floor in. Hey, it was all good, no need to worry – on to Indy

Phone call? Billy? Yep, 30 minutes out. You’re sitting in a cart next to the Bag Drop? OK, see you in a while. Here’s my exit, zoom in on that map so I don’t miss the turn, there it is’this is kinda scary. Meeting people I don’t know from Adam, yet feel like I’ve known forever. Here’s the Fort. OK, why am I driving into a State Park, & why is there a Ranger Station, & what do you mean $5 a car, or buy an annual pass? Let me look at the Satellite view on that google. Shit, I should have turned right to get to the course back there. Hi Ranger Rick in that funny hat & boy scout outfit – yep, let me just turn around here, I got people to meet.

Ahhh, golf course, big clubhouse. OK huge clubhouse, where in the hell is the bag drop..nope, not in this circle, how about over- .holy shit, there’s Billy. Good thing he doesn’t know this crazy asshole making all kind of wrong turns is me. Where’s Tugoo? Let me just pull up here, get out & check the strength of Billy’s sphincter..BILLY!!!!!!!!!! He jumped, cool. He’s wearing dark shorts, good thing – think he pooped himself a little. That was maybe a little too loud

Where’s Tugoo? Oh, he’s on the crapper? ya, been there done that, got the TP stuck in the crack of my ass to prove it (that rest area stuff was actually worse, why can’t everyone just buy Charmin?) Holy shit, from the corner of my eye, from the left..it’s Huge, it’s Hedge! Hiya Hedge! (I guess he didn’t know I was a flickr freak & knew what everyone would look like) Tugoo!!! Hey, we’re all here. Anyone up for some range balls? (I need ’em after all that crap golf last weekend) Oh, & when we’re done over there, can we hit a couple of putts, this bent looks like twice as fast as that Bermuda in the south.

Here we go, first hole!

4 hour void in memory…

you want me to check out the accommodations at the Hotel? Oi, looks old & grungy. WOW, super room guys. Which bed are you two sleeping in? Ha Ha, Wow, that tub holds two, as well .Why am I picturing 2 old farts fighting over the tub & shower with the side jets from the wall?

More beer or vodka? No thanks. Getting late & I’ve got an early match tomorrow. Follow the bread crumbs home!!! It is good to be a Slinger”

Tugoo

Hi All, just got back from the MW Slinger Golf Outing- translation is 2 days of watching Mr. Magoo, alias Billy, golf balls for him. He is somewhere just short of legally blind. Hell I am older than him he is supposed to be watching where mine go. He almost wrecked the cart Sat. with me IN IT!.
Seriously, had a blast – all to fast..wish hedge and 8 could have stayed longer.to watch after Billy – nah just to socialize. What an unbelievable experience, meet a group of folks on the internet..agree, bitch, criticize and then meet one another and it’s like a long lost friend. Billy says he has glasses, why doesn’t he wear them?
When I meet Mikey in Dec, if he needs glasses, he better wear them.
Hedge is better than he proclaims, just lack of activity. Billy is an intense participant and a very good short game, 8?s new name is L&L. Translation – LONG and LEFT. If there are trees on the right at the tee box he is on his praying for HIS fade (a 10 yard draw). Me, I am a chopper but I have fun.
Metro, can’t wait to hear/see your analysis/offering of advice regarding my swing. 8 filmed it before our play. I have a few pics which my wife will e-mail to you our tomorrow AM. I am tired. Billy is flying high as I type.”

Billy

As 8 pointed out when we were in Indy…I know more Slingers than anyone. Every time I’ve had the opportunity to meet and play with Slingers it has been a joy. 8 says he’ll never forget 6/4/2011…well I’ve been fortunate to have a lot of dates on the calender that I’ll never forget. I was wide awake in anticipation as I flew from Phoenix to Indy. Spilled a glass of Merlot all over myself and throughout the plane. The stewardess was an absolute sweetheart about it. Even gave me a free replacement. Get to Indy and boom, there’s Tugoo to pick me up. We got on just like it was a routine weekend. Like we’d been doing this for years. Checked in and headed out to the Cheesecake factory. Let me tell you a little something about Tugoo! He may in fact be 64 and happy married…but the women out numbered the men by about 3 or 4 to one at the Factory. Tugoo’s eyes were roaming that night! HA! Tugoo…I absolutely love you brother! Yeah, I am Mr Magoo (blind as a freakin bat) and I appreciate you tracking where the hell my ball went for two days. HA! You were a great roommate, we had tons of fun after hours in Indy and I felt like I’d known you all my life. You pick incredible places to meet and play golf. Email me when you figure out where we are going next and I promise I’ll be there! For those of you that don’t know, and I’m sure 8 will echo this, Tugoo IS A PRO when it comes to the game of golf. He has a beautiful swing and has forgotten more about the game than most of us will ever know. He makes me want to improve my game…just so I don’t look so crappy when I have to hit after him! Hedge!!! Probably the Slinger I’ve most wanted to meet for a long time. He’s way too hard on himself when it comes to golf. He was a surprisingly taller man than I had envisioned. But he’s every bit as charming in real life as he is here. You just don’t find many people in life that are any better than Hedge. I feel cheated that I didn’t get to spend more time with you. Hopefully there will be an opportunity somewhere along the way to correct that deficiency. 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blew me the freak away! We all see 8 with that Nick Nolte avitar and that “cool” guy demeanor when he posts. I really had no idea what to expect. About a week before the trip we were exchanging cell phone numbers. So just for shits and tickles I call 8…just to jack with him. We had a great conversation. Soooooooooooo Tugoo is off to the bathroom at the course…I’m sitting in the golf cart waiting for Hedge and 8 to show..so I call him and say “Hey, where the hell are ya?” Turns out he was almost there. Maybe 10 minutes later this blue pick-up truck pulls up by the bag drop area. I’m checking the guy out. He steps out of the trunk, kind of does a bird kind of move thing and screeches “Billlllllllly” at the top of his lungs. 8 has no idea how right he was in his comments. I almost shit my pants! Good thing I was wearing black indeed. Of all the Slingers I’ve meet 8 was the most radically different from what I expected. The 8 we all know and love in the TH doesn’t even come close to doing justice to the real Bryan. It was an absolute blast to play golf with him. And as Hedge points out…he has game!!!!!!! Hits the driver a freakin mile (if only he could control the direction) HA! Dude..our time together was way way too short. But I absolutely loved every minute that I got to spend with you, Hedge and Tugoo. I hope that all of you will agree that this trip brought us closer together and truly made us friends. A memory that I will savor for all times. Can’t wait to see all of you the next time.

More to come……….

________________________________

Slingers Western Swing

Slingers do indeed rock!

If someone had said to me two years ago that I would fly across the world to meet up with some blokes I had never met, to play some golf and have a drink or four with…. well, you get the picture….

18 hours of mind and butt numbing boredom had me in San Fransisco at lunchtime Sunday May 1. I got a courtesy bus down to Monterey because I wanted to see the countryside. Great plan that, except that I slept most of the three hours it took to get there….
Doc picked me up in his rental and soon I was catching my first glimpse of Pebble. To say that it blew me away would be an understatement. My first look at 18 was from Doc’s room at the Lodge. He had a third floor room with the obligatory balcony that was almost opposite the 18th green. A cocktail at dusk watching the last of the days players wandering up 18, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Dinner was in the Grill at the Lodge after a 30 minute putt on the practice green in the twilight. I had to have a fair dinkum American hamburger and it didn’t disappoint. About this time, I wondered out loud “I wonder what all the poor people are doing”, Doc said not to worry about them… I cleaned that up a bit!

Monday morning and Pebble.
I hate slow play. It took 5 and a half hours to get around the old girl and I loved every minute of it! I don’t think I could have played worse and yet it will remain one of my most enduring golf memories. It’s funny seeing something that you have read about and seen so much of via the telly and books, sometimes it can be a letdown, but not this time. One thing stood out, I couldn’t get over how small the greens were. The course was in superb condition and when you think of how much use it gets, it really is a tribute to the management and staff. Fantastic weather and the best golfing company one could wish for. Thanks Doc, you’re a peach hon!!!!

Tuesday and Spanish Bay

A tough golf course played in a sensible breeze early in the day. The golf didn’t get any better and I froze my tits off.. as it were! Spanish is a Tom Watson collaboration with Robert Trent Jones and Sandy Tatum and one that you need to play a couple of times to get the hang of. A great course and in fantastic condition, unlike moi!!

Now it’s off to the airport and Phoenix awaits…..

_______________________________________

Phoenix

7.50 tee time at Spanish Bay, bad golf done well, then off to the airport at Monterey for a quick trip to San Fran and then on to the wilds of Arizona. Phew!!!

Billy picked Doc and I up from the airport and took us to the hotel to check in and then surprise, surprise – a quick drink…….. or four. Does anyone see a recurring theme here? By the way, thanks to Billy for ferrying us and in particular me, around Phoenix for the time we were there. Good job mate and huge thanks!

Wednesday had us a TPC and playing the Champions Course. A good track in superb condition. It also had Doc and I meeting Fons for the very first time. I can’t tell you guys who haven’t yet experienced it, how fantastic it is to finally meet a fellow Slinger. It’s so natural to walk up, hug and start chatting about all sorts of stuff – just as we do here in the TH. If you get the chance to do it, please don’t miss it!
The golf was mediocre, although Doc started to show us what he’s made of and hit some great shots. The Wankers, He and Billy, beat the Tossers, Fons and I, but we pressed the last four holes and salvaged some pride, if not dignity.

Now comes the hard part of saying goodbye. Doc left us after the obligatory drink, or was it three? He unfortunately, had to get back to Detroit for work….. bugger. Thanks Doc, for everything!!

Thursday, Fons, Billy and I were at the 500 Club. Anyone going to Phoenix, should not miss this one. It’s a little gem and every bit as good as the TPC. The golf was getting better, just and as was becoming the norm, we had a ball.

I fell in love with Goundhogs, Radar putted way, way better and Billy putted the way he always does, pretty damn well.
Out for dinner with Fons, Billy and Laura, Billy’s lovely wife, who by the way, is far too good for him. Great food, good wine and brilliant company…. I could get used to this!
Friday – a rest day and thank The Good Lord for that too! I hit the malls and then, believe it or not, the range at the hotel for a couple of hours in the pm. Then an early and sober… ahem, night.

Saturday and the last day of the Phoenix leg. We played Starfire, another little hidden gem, that again, was in superb condition. Every course I played during the trip, was in fantastic nick – greens in great shape and fairways fantastic. The weather was brilliant the whole time, although I would like to have taken 10 degrees off Phoenix and put it onto San Fran and Pebble given half a chance.
Fons left on his three and a half hour drive home, so more farewell hugs and promises to do it again. Thanks Fons for being there and being part of the Tossers that made this trip so very special. And by the way…. no peeking!!

Billy and Laura took me out to dinner at The Cheescake factory and it was great, but with a tinge of sadness too. Eight fantastic days with three brilliant people (Laura and Hollis too) It couldn’t have been better guys. Thank you…….

I’ll leave the final word to Billy. This is his email to me from yesterday –

“One the story lines about metro’s journey to Phoenix. On Saturday before Metro, Doc and Radar arrived I burned my leg badly on the pipes of my Harley. On the day before metro arrived I could hardly walk. In the pic of the 4 of us at the Embassy (raising our glasses) you can see the unsightly bandage on my leg that I’m still wearing today (no! not the same one! I’m changing it every day. duh!). I was in a panic. Fortunately the neosporin and keeping it dry and covered I was able to walk without much pain on Wednesday. But I was thinking, oh shit, Metro’s coming all this way and I won’t be able to play golf. Metro, however, is probably still grimacing over the memory of seeing me ACTUALLY play golf. HA! But I never get mad even over the worst of shots. And I did putt pretty well sinking a couple of long ones and I even managed to make a birdie or two. On one particular Par 3 at the TPC Doc, Metro and were all on the green but pretty far away with a ridge to go up over to the flag. I was last to putt. Metro manned the flagstick for me. It almost went it! I kidded metro by telling her my aiming line was right between her legs when I hit the putt. In true Metro fashion (quick with a response) she told me that’s were all the boys aim! I had a great time and the company was fantastic! Slingers do in fact rock. Actually meeting, spending time with and playing golf with Lee and Doc…will forever change the way we see and communicate with each other from now on. We ACTAULLY know each other now. I highly encourage slingers to get together when ever and where ever possible. It will make you feel more connected and closer.”